Tag Archives: Marriage

Till Death Do Us Part: Part II — The Middle Years

Musings on Life, Love, & Death

A Three-Part Series, the Beginning, the Middle, and the End, (Or is, it?)

“I take thee to be my wedded (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part.”  — Traditional Wedding Vows

From Till Death Do Us Part: Part I — The Beginning

Little did I know when I spoke those vows on March 14, 1970, that they would apply after our divorce. I’m grateful they did. It’s a gift that some of us are lucky enough to receive. It’s true for me and my former husband, Frank Schatzley. It required love, commitment, amends, letting go of resentments, and forgiveness. Did I say I was grateful?  I am.   

Today

As I write, I’m grieving and I’m grateful. I’ve often reflected how grief and gratitude go hand-in-hand. As a person of certain age, I’ve said goodbye to family, loved ones, friends, colleagues, and people who I never met in life, yet left a mark on me by their art, wisdom, or work on behalf of humanity or our planet. It sounds lofty when I write that on the page, yet it’s impossible not to be affected by people and their impact on us personally and the world we live in. Continue reading

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Till Death Do Us Part: Part I – The Beginning

Musings on Life, Love, & Death

Part One of a Three-Part Series, the Beginning, the Middle, and the End, (or is, it?)

“I take thee to be my wedded (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part.”  — Traditional Wedding Vow

Little did I know when I spoke those vows on March 14, 1970, that they would apply after our divorce. I’m grateful they did. It’s a gift that some of us are lucky enough to receive. It’s true for me and my former husband, Frank Schatzley. It required love, commitment, amends, letting go of resentments, and forgiveness. Did I say I was grateful?  I am. Continue reading

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For the Love of Movies (& Memories of My Mother)

“Ever since I was a child, films, like good books, served as windows to worlds sometimes unfamiliar or far away due to distance in time or space. Movies depicted characters both fictional and historical, unraveled mysteries or documented adventures; they always engaged my emotions and attention. Some films are more familiar and familial, memoirs or morality tales that act like mirrors to my lived experience, or road maps of my internal journey. I prefer non-fiction to fiction. Most fiction, in my view, is simply reality in disguise, employed to protect the innocent and the guilty. As a memoirist I am most interested in the stories we tell and the stories untold about our lives.” – Excerpt from Stories We Tell/Stories Untold 

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The Legacy of Material Things

“We didn’t have much, but we had love.” ― Tyler Perry 

 “I’ve not always possessed what I’ve wanted, but I always received what I needed, and most days it was simply the love of friends and family, and the ability to live comfortably in my own skin.”  ―  From Mixed Metaphors, Oh My! Dispatch from the Hideout: Letter to Loved Ones

It’s that time of year when we celebrate the holidays, often the traditions of the generations that preceded us, the food we eat, the rituals we recreate, the stories we tell, and the memories we share. This is our legacy. It’s also that time of year when many of us look back and reflect on the year behind us and grieve our loved ones no longer present in life.

We inherit many things from our family, from our DNA to our shared lived experiences, both nature and nurture. We also inherit material things, bequeaths, mementos, and gifts from family, friends, and loved ones. They also represent a legacy. What creates a person’s legacy? Continue reading

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I Need to Pay Attention to What I Resist

“Where there is power, there is resistance.” ― Michel Foucault

There are many tools for living that I’ve acquired over the years from parents, mentors, school, books, films, spiritual practices, and recovery from substances and unhealthy behaviors. I’m most grateful for the latter, which saved my life. Today, we are faced with challenges in personal, social, and political spheres. Now, more than ever, I need to pay attention to what I resist.  Continue reading

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No More 9 to 5!

UPDATE 02/25/2020: Three years ago, I began working part-time for my employer for whom I had worked full-time as a manager for almost 10 years. I became an hourly employee and the trade-off was I was able to work 20 hours a week and have three-day weekends.

Now that this job is ending, due to a company reorg, I’m reconsidering returning to full-time employment if I can combine my professional and avocational experience. In this third chapter of my life, I’d like to do work that aligns with my passions and commitment to social justice. Following is the original post from February 25, 2017.

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Ode to Blue-Collar Working Class Heroes

“There’s room at the top they are telling you still
But first you must learn how to smile as you kill
If you want to be like the folks on the hill”
 —John Lennon, Working Class Hero

In July both the Republican and Democratic Presidential Conventions concluded. Each party, their supporters, speakers, and candidates have driven stakes, describing in detail— some more than others — their position on the issues, their plans for the future, and identified who their party represents, or not. The Republicans embraced fear, law and order, and promised to “Make America Great Again.” The Democrats expressed optimism for the future and reaffirmed that America is already great, in fact, in the words of Michelle Obama, “This right now is the greatest country on earth.” And as a people, we are “Stronger Together.”  Continue reading

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Conversations w/My Next Girlfriend: Episode 10

The Final Episode: This is the last in a series of imaginary conversations with my next girlfriend.

Dear Next Girlfriend,

It’s time. It was bound to happen sooner rather than later. I’ve been having lots of one-way conversations in my head with my ex-girlfriend and you — my next girlfriend. I’ve been living in the past, or imagining the future. As I said, it’s time. It’s time to be in the moment, in the here and now, and accept, yes, fully accept, that I’m single and I’m okay — all that TM (Transactional Analysis) self-help, self-talk from the bestselling self-help book I’m Okay, You’re Okay from 1969 that in 1972 made the New York Times Best Seller List. Next girlfriend, it’s not exactly like we’re breaking up — we never got together! Continue reading

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Conversation w/My Next Wife

“Marriage responds to the universal fear that a lonely person might call out only to find no one there. It offers the hope of companionship and understanding and assurance that while both still live there will be someone to care for the other.” — Justice Anthony M. Kennedy

Oh crap! I’m really in trouble now. Not only am I an older woman, I’m an older lesbian woman, and can now add to that list: older, lesbian, single, and now unmarried, woman. How did that happen? Yes, that’s a rhetorical question and I know the answer. Continue reading

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Conversations w/My Next Girlfriend: Episode 9

Note: This is the ninth episode in a series of imaginary conversations with my next girlfriend.

Saturday, June 20, 2015

Dear Next Girlfriend,

It’s a cloudy, grey, overcast day — the eve of the Summer Solstice. Showers moved through the area earlier as thunder rumbled and tumbled in the distance. The sun is trying to find its way through the clouds overhead outside the window where I write. The weather matches my mood as I hope to find the partly sunny outlook or the glass half-full way of thinking before the longest day of the year arrives. I’m reflective. I know I’m mixing metaphors — it’s what I do. Continue reading

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