Tag Archives: Divorce

Till Death Do Us Part: Part II — The Middle Years

Musings on Life, Love, & Death

A Three-Part Series, the Beginning, the Middle, and the End, (Or is, it?)

“I take thee to be my wedded (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part.”  — Traditional Wedding Vows

From Till Death Do Us Part: Part I — The Beginning

Little did I know when I spoke those vows on March 14, 1970, that they would apply after our divorce. I’m grateful they did. It’s a gift that some of us are lucky enough to receive. It’s true for me and my former husband, Frank Schatzley. It required love, commitment, amends, letting go of resentments, and forgiveness. Did I say I was grateful?  I am.   

Today

As I write, I’m grieving and I’m grateful. I’ve often reflected how grief and gratitude go hand-in-hand. As a person of certain age, I’ve said goodbye to family, loved ones, friends, colleagues, and people who I never met in life, yet left a mark on me by their art, wisdom, or work on behalf of humanity or our planet. It sounds lofty when I write that on the page, yet it’s impossible not to be affected by people and their impact on us personally and the world we live in. Continue reading

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Conversations w/My Next Girlfriend: Episode 10

The Final Episode: This is the last in a series of imaginary conversations with my next girlfriend.

Dear Next Girlfriend,

It’s time. It was bound to happen sooner rather than later. I’ve been having lots of one-way conversations in my head with my ex-girlfriend and you — my next girlfriend. I’ve been living in the past, or imagining the future. As I said, it’s time. It’s time to be in the moment, in the here and now, and accept, yes, fully accept, that I’m single and I’m okay — all that TM (Transactional Analysis) self-help, self-talk from the bestselling self-help book I’m Okay, You’re Okay from 1969 that in 1972 made the New York Times Best Seller List. Next girlfriend, it’s not exactly like we’re breaking up — we never got together! Continue reading

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Conversations w/My Next Girlfriend: Episode 6

Note: This is the sixth in the series of imaginary conversations with my next girlfriend.

Dear Next Girlfriend,

What a difference 10 days makes. A little over a week ago hundreds of same-sex couples in Wisconsin were getting married legally after a Federal District Judge, the Honorable Barbara Crabb, overturned the ban on same-sex marriage in Wisconsin. Many of the newlyweds (or newly registered) were people I knew, some who have been together 10, 15, 20 years or more, some raised children together, purchased homes, planned their lives as a family, and supported each other emotionally, physically, financially and spiritually. At least 637 marriage licenses have been applied for since Crabb’s ruling

Continue reading

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Conversations w/My Next Girlfriend: Episode 2

This is the second in a series of imaginary conversations with my next girlfriend.

Sweet woman,

I know you’re having a hard time understanding why I asked my ex-girlfriend to accompany me and be my support person the day of my carpal tunnel release surgery. As you remember, I originally asked my sister who said she’d be with me that day. When her family was trying to find a time to take their annual vacation before school started, it turned out that the week of my outpatient surgery worked best with everyone’s schedule. She talked to me about it and I told her to have a great time and that I’d find someone else. Continue reading

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