Tag Archives: Fathers

Dispatch from the Hideout: My Post-Pandemic Life

As a writer, I like words, their origin and meanings. Memory: Something remembered from the past; a recollection. Memorial: Something designed to preserve the memory of a person, event, as a monument or a holiday.” — from Mixed Metaphors, Oh My! With a Little Help from My Friends

First, the Memorial Day Holiday is a time to acknowledge and honor the men and women who have served our country in war and peace, and more importantly to work for peace in the world. It’s also a time I remember loved ones, friends, and colleagues who have died.

This year it’s also a return to some version of our pre-pandemic lives — a new normal — a post- pandemic life for those of us who’ve been fully vaccinated. Continue reading

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Within these Walls: Oral History

Stories of Home 

As a writer, I write for different reasons. I journal to maintain a record of my life, to examine my life, reflect on the past, and look ahead to the future. As a reminiscence writer, I capture the stories of my lived experience and those of my family, friends, and loved ones. As an activist-essayist, I comment on the culture and politics of current events in hopes of galvanizing change.

I sometimes submit my work for consideration for the stage, screen, or publication. For me, those are the most challenging experiences as a writer. In addition to telling a story, I let go of control of whether it’s performed, viewed, or read by the target audience. I make myself vulnerable to the readers, producers, publishers and selection committees. My ego is in play. Continue reading

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Dispatch from the Hideout: Home Alone Easter Holiday

Like most holidays I celebrated as a child, Easter was a hybrid of religious traditions, the social culture from the generation in which I grew up, and our own ethnic and family rituals, which we repeated in some fashion every year.  

Easter Holidays Past

Note: Includes excerpts from Poop Eggs & Lamb Cakes

Today is the Easter Holiday and Passover. Growing up in the 1950s and 1960s, my family had many traditions which we repeated every year, some with glee, and others with complaints. On Easter Saturday, we’d color eggs, which the Easter Bunny would hide that night. Mom boiled two or three dozen as our family grew. She’d cover the kitchen table with newspaper and the kids would crowd around it with our crayons, the white wax marker to write our names, a spoon in hand ready to dip the eggs in the assembly line of Easter egg dye in her Corelle coffee cups. Continue reading

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70 Is NOT the New 60, It’s 70!

(Or, the Third Act before the curtain closes)

 “There’s a moment when people know — whatever their skills are at denial — that they have passed from what they can delude themselves into thinking is middle age to something that you could call the third act.”Nora Ephron

“Aging is an extraordinary process where you become the person you always should have been.” David Bowie

First, let me say at the outset that I’m grateful that I’m above ground and not dust in the wind. When I was nearing my 65th birthday five years ago, I found this factoid reassuring. If one lives to the age of 65, they have an 80% chance to live twenty more years to 85 years old. Hallelujah! Continue reading

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Legend of the China Doll

In late March, my younger sister Cindy was admitted to the hospital. After a series of tests she was diagnosed with terminal lung and liver cancer. Like many of us, she has worked hard her whole life, currently lives alone, and until now has survived paycheck-to-paycheck. She will no longer be able to work, so those paychecks will stop, and a safety net is not yet in place. In the meantime, she will incur costly medical expenses, prescriptions for her treatment to prolong her life, and will require help to be keep a roof over her head, a modest apartment in our hometown of Racine, Wisconsin. My sister, Tami created this YouCaring fundraiser. For those who’d like to get to know my sister Cindy a little better, I offer this reminiscence, Legend of the China Doll.   Continue reading

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Ode to Blue-Collar Working Class Heroes

“There’s room at the top they are telling you still
But first you must learn how to smile as you kill
If you want to be like the folks on the hill”
 —John Lennon, Working Class Hero

In July both the Republican and Democratic Presidential Conventions concluded. Each party, their supporters, speakers, and candidates have driven stakes, describing in detail— some more than others — their position on the issues, their plans for the future, and identified who their party represents, or not. The Republicans embraced fear, law and order, and promised to “Make America Great Again.” The Democrats expressed optimism for the future and reaffirmed that America is already great, in fact, in the words of Michelle Obama, “This right now is the greatest country on earth.” And as a people, we are “Stronger Together.”  Continue reading

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A Grateful Daughter: A Father’s Day Tribute

“My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me.” — Jim Valvano

As my friends, family, work colleagues, and regular readers are already aware, I recently finished moving. I now have only one set of keys, and my material life resides in a single location for the exception of a dozen totes that a friend generously volunteered to store in her basement.  Moving seemed like a never-ending process and I’m grateful it’s over and I can stop writing and talking about it (I will, I promise).  I can now direct my energy to other things, which brings me to Father’s Day and the tragedy in Orlando at Pulse LGBTQ nightclub. You might ask, “How are these two subjects related?” Continue reading

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Without Her: A Mother’s Day Lament

“The death of a mother is the first sorrow wept without her.” — Author unknown

On this Mother’s Day I want to express my gratitude. I’m lucky. My eyes first met my mother’s over 66 years ago on the day I was born. She was the first person I ever experienced in life, whose flesh touched mine, her smell familiar, whose breasts nourished me, and whose arms held me close to her heart. I’m sure I was comforted by the sound of her soft voice and steady heartbeat that I heard while still in her womb. Every year on my birthday I felt intimately close to her. We often shared tears, tears of gratitude and joy. This year was the last one we’ll ever share together. Mom died 10 days after my birthday. This is my first Mother’s Day without her. Continue reading

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Full Moon on Christmas Day: Part II

Christmas Present and Christmas Future

“Your life will be a great and continuous unfolding. You will come to know things that can only be known with the wisdom of age and the grace of years. Most of those things will have to do with forgiveness.” — Cheryl Strayed

This is Part II of a personal essay on the holidays. The subject of Part I was pre-holiday musings and reminiscing about childhood Christmas celebrations past. I’m grateful to my parents for their gifts to me, most importantly their love, nurturing, and support and for the delight I experienced on Christmas morning as a child when I saw the decorated tree and gift-wrapped presents.

Part II is also recognition that things change; we experience loss in our life as we age. Loved ones leave us, others die, and some traditions are more difficult to sustain.  People move across country, move on from childhood to adulthood, and sometimes family members and loved ones create chasms too difficult to bridge. Continue reading

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Memories, Milestones & Musings

“Memory …is the diary that we all carry about with us.” — Oscar Wilde

Today is the last day of the first month of the year. I’ve been spending a lot of time looking back at last year and looking ahead to the new year. That journey has taken detours to the past and ventured into dreams of the future. It’s no surprise this month is named for the Roman God, Janus. As I recently noted in my essay, Legacy of a Life:

In ancient Roman religion and myth, Janus is the god of beginnings and transitions, and thereby of gates, doors, doorways, passages and endings. He is usually depicted as having two faces, since he looks to the future and to the past. It is conventionally thought that the month of January is named for Janus.”  (Source: Wikipedia)  Continue reading

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