Mixed Metaphors

Welcome to Tidbits, a feature of Mixed Metaphors, Oh My! Tidbits are bite-sized morsels of news and happenings: more characters than a tweet, more ephemeral than a post, less satisfying than a conversation.

12/25/2023    Elegy for My Father

Dad & I, Spring, 2021

Elegy for My Father

Fog has settled in and made a home here,
leading up to Christmas the year of your death.
The fog is thick like pea soup.
I made some for you, but you died
before I could deliver it to your hospital bed
at the home you and Mom raised
six children and celebrated holidays,
birthdays, and hosted family visits.

You always enjoyed telling the story
of my January birth on Friday the 13th.
The weather was exactly as it is today,
unseasonably warm, a London Fog
kind of day. I’m your firstborn,
you almost 20-years-old, Mom almost 18.
We grew up together, I helped raise my siblings,
you told me it was my first job as the eldest.

You were my mentor and first teacher,
You, who were abandoned by your father,
raised us as you wish you had been.
You played with us, wrestling on the floor,
told stories of your youth, and impressed upon us,
the importance of friends and an education.
You taught me to tie my shoes
and write my name. Your signature had flare.

We loved to read the Sunday papers together,
though at 16, I asserted my young adulthood.
We would debate over the news and culture of the day;
we were both right-fighters, stubborn, and willful.
It’s ironic, you taught me, first and foremost,
to think for myself, not follow the crowd,
be independent and strong. In later years, we’d argue over
our recollections of our shared memories.

You loved us unconditionally to the best of your ability,
welcomed our friends and remembered
most of the people you ever met. People remembered
your blue eyes, smile, and the stories you told.
I’m grateful, like you, I became a storyteller. Thank you.
We inherited more than the stories of our past,
we were perfectly flawed, carrying wounds
and predispositions hard-wired in our DNA.

You outlived your lover, soulmate,
best friend and mother of your children,
your grandparents, parents, and siblings.
Now, we carry on in your memory. Your legacy
is the family you created, the generations that will follow,
the traditions shared during holidays, the stories we tell.
This first Christmas without you, your love, blue eyes,
and broad smile remain in our hearts and memory, a gift.

LLL
Christmas Eve, 2023

06/29/2023  RIP Thom (aka Tommy when I knew him 54 years ago).

I’m at that age when the obituaries of the artists, musician, actors, celebrities, plus more personally, friends, family, and loved ones of my youth are dying and remind me of my own mortality. Grief & Gratitude.

I met Tommy at some kind of hippie gathering at the Racine campus of UW-Parkside in 1969. I was separated from my first love Frank, who returned to school at UW-Madison. Tommy entered my life when I wasn’t ready to fully give my heart away, yet I wanted a companion. Tommy became that person.

He was an artist, musician, graphic designer, photographer and a magnet who attracted people. Later in life, he became a Racine historian, and much more. From his obituary:

“Thom was an accomplished artist, working at Unico Inc. in advertising for over 30 years. A self-taught airbrush artist, he became internationally known for his Automotive Fine Art. Thom was a contributing artist to the many juried art exhibitions at the Charles A. Wustum Museum of Fine Art, having two pieces in their permanent collection. Thom was featured in exhibitions at the Anderson Art Center in Kenosha, the Kohler Art Center, many private and corporate collections, numerous commissioned works, as well as on the covers of various magazines. Thom was active with the Racine Art Guild and was a part of the Wednesday Morning “Geezers” Art Group. He filmed and produced many shows for the Community Access Racine TV Station (Car 25) such as “Uncle Thom’s Kitchen,” “Way Out Willards Wild World of Motor Sports,” plus many public interest stories of people & events around Racine.”

Tommy and I ‘hung out’ for a brief period of time in 1969. He had a VW Bug, with the front passenger seat turned to face the back seat. We’d drive around downtown Racine and pickup hitchhikers in exchange for a little recreational weed (it was the sixties!). My job was to entertain our guest passengers. One trick, I’d remove my bra without taking my shirt off (what was I thinking!). We had little money, since we both worked part-time or freelanced. We’d often have a late night breakfast under the bright lights, yellow and mirrored walls of George Webb’s in Racine on Main Street, or share a ‘bag of burgers’ for $5.

My favorite memory, was the summer of ’69 when we panhandled so we could attend some four-day, music and art fair that was happening in Woodstock, NY. We needed gas money, and money for food and ‘recreation,’ We hung out at Racine’s Downtown Monument Square where the hippies of the time gathered and panhandled. No one had much money to spare. We never made it to Woodstock, instead we used the money we collected to watch an Alfred Hitchcock movie, put gas in The Beetle, and enjoyed our summer of love.

After that summer, we went our own ways, Tommy became Thom, found a home in a Bible community, and met his lifelong partner and wife. I was reunited with my first love, Frank, and a couple years later, we married.

There are people who may enter our life for a brief period of time, but make an impact and are forever memorable. I can’t think of that summer of my life without remembering ‘scooping the loop’ in downtown Racine in Tommy’s VW Bug and the carefree experiences we shared.

10/11/2022   National Coming Out Day!

Colleagues at the OutReach LGBTQ+ Community center share our coming out stories in this video produced by our phenomenal volunteer Gracie. The video features our Executive Director Steve, Elder Advocate Kristi, and me, the OutReach AODA Advocate.

https://fb.watch/g6tKDxflDV/

08/22/2022  The 2022 OutReach Magic Pride Festival

Yesterday was the 2022 OutReach Magic Pride Festival at Warner Park in Madison, WI. 7500 of our diverse LGBTQ+ community members attended the event. I worked the OutReach tent with volunteers and colleagues. I took a break and rested my bones in one of our golf carts and held court with friends that I haven’t seen since pre-COVID. It was a family reunion!

2022 OutReach Magic Pride Festival. Photo Credit: Callen Harty

04/10/2022 When the Writing Prompt Is a Poem

Backstory: I’m a member of an LGBTQ+ virtual writer’s group hosted by Write On Door County, “Our mission is to inspire and engage writers and readers of all ages, at all stages. We do this through events and workshops at our Writing Center and within the community, through our residency program, and by offering support to our writers.” We meet once a month and share our work, often in response to a prompt. Today’s prompt was the poem by Andrea Gibson, The Year of No Grudges.

When the Writing Prompt Is a Poem
For Andrea Gibson

When the writing prompt is a poem
I choose to respond in kind.
It’s risky business when the poem is written in the ether
and by you, the spoken word artist, Andrea Gibson.

I first saw you read at the National Women’s Music Festival,
years ago, the year my 13-year relationship ended.
I purchased your book of poetry,
Pole Dancing to Gospel Hymns, you signed it.

Later, I was asked to emcee the Pride March Rally.
To kick it off, with your permission, I read your poem, Say Yes,
hoping it would move the crowd
as it moved my heart, each reading.

Your poems inspire me. So much wisdom, in so few words.
This is for the no becoming yes,
for fear becoming trust,
for saying I love you to people who will never say it to us.

Your poem, The Year of No Grudges, is our prompt.
Your words, I’m writing this on a day
you did me wrong. I’m just a half-second
outside the furnace of my rage.

Yet I’m in awe of your ability to turn anger
into a love poem, to live a year of no grudges.
I subscribe to your newsletter, as if we were friends,
or you, my mentor.

Death loiters at your doorstep, your words,
…when I get to heaven
I will refuse to call it heaven
if who put me through hell isn’t there.

When the writing prompt is a poem,
I choose to respond in kind.

LLL
4/9/22

11/08/2021 Remembering Poet, Cinephile, & Friend, Lewis Bosworth, Jr.

Friend, fellow cinephile, writer, poet, member of our LGBTQ+ community, and so much more, Lewis Bosworth passed away on Thursday, November 4th. From his obituary:

“Lewis will be remembered by many as a rather eccentric and daring person, subject to his own whims and idiosyncrasies, and unafraid to breach the norms of society.”

“Lewis was a passionate person given to love of language and culture, music, theater, poetry, gay and lesbian studies…”

Lewis Bosworth, Jr.

Lewis was many things to many people, for me, we’d see each other annually at the Wisconsin Film Festival, compare notes, critiques, and recommendations about the films we saw, shared our writing and poetry with each other; he was my most loyal reader of my blog, Mixed Metaphors, Oh My! and I will treasure his encouraging words. His reputation as a poet and writer gave his words more value.

Lewis bequeathed his film collection to me (except for the erotic and porno gay male films), hundreds of DVDs, VHS tapes, and Blue Rays. I never picked them up at his urging before he entered the nursing home and hospicecare since I didn’t have the storage capacity. Instead I unsuccessfully tried to find a home for them and wished to create with his permission, The Lewis Bosworth Contemporary Film Collection & Archive.                                                    

When invited by his legal and medical guardian to visit his home and pickup the movie collection and a DVD and Blue Ray player, my denial about the impending death of a friend prevented me from taking that step. I also hoped to be able to visit him, yet I was unable to overcome the resistance caused by my anticipatory grief.

RIP, Lewis. I will always appreciate your words, both written and spoken, your wisdom shared, and your eccentric and creative spirit. Lewis Bosworth, Jr. Obituary

08/19/2021 Happy Days: The Soft Lens of Nostalgia

Photo Credit: Marc’s Big Boy, Racine, Wisconsin, Durand Avenue.

11/08/2020  A Poem to Commemorate the Day

Exhale
On Learning Biden/Harris Are the President & VP-Elect

The world exhaled collectively,
a deep healing breath, while
vagabond bands of car horns,
cow bells, tambourines, and drums,
were joined by voices, whooping like birds,
a chorus of men, women, and children
filled the void left by despair.

The sky opened bluer, and wider
while clouds took a break
from creating storms.
The wind lifted kites so high they
rested in tree branches with the birds.
Champagne corks popped
flying in exuberant joy.

Hope retuned to the stage.
Harris and Biden to lead us
on a path of recovery and healing.
Their words, a balm for our souls,
solace for our hearts, mirrored in their smiles.
Fireworks, cheers, and song filled the night sky.

The world exhaled.

LLL
11-8-20

(AP Photo/Alex Brandon)

04/15/2020   I’ve Landed on My Feet!

Beginning in May, I’m the new LGBTQ+ AODA Advocate. l’m so excited to be able to begin this work which combines my professional experience, community activism, and 35 years of recovery. Grateful.❤️

03/26/2020  Distance Won’t Divide Us

Distance Won’t Divide Us
Meditations on Life During a Pandemic

Distance won’t divide us.
Hearts know no boundaries,
memories cross borders,
travel freely through time.
There is loneliness in crowds,
sometimes solace in solitude.

Distance won’t divide us.
The dead refuse to be left behind
they visit us in dreams, uninvited,
and in the rituals of the living.
They exist in our DNA, in the eyes
and smiles of loved ones.

Distance won’t divide us.
We stay connected by our music,
arts and crafts, in the stories we tell,
the food we prepare and share.
We introduce our offspring, our youth
to the generations that preceded us.

Distance won’t divide us.
Walls transcended; time malleable.
We connect in the spirit realm
where bonds are never broken
and prayers and mediation become
the connective tissue and blood of life.

Distance won’t divide us

LLL
03/26/2020

02/09/2020  Opportunity Disguised as Bad News

A few days after my 70th birthday, I was called into my general manager’s office and informed that my job was being eliminated. It was due to a reorganization and not my performance. I currently work part-time and my responsibilities would be handed-off to other managers. I work until the end of February, allowing me time to train the staff who inherit my duties. I’ve worked at the organization, both in full and part-time capacities for a total of 12 years.

I hope this is an opportunity for me to do work that feeds my spirit while contributing to organizations whose mission I support. The job search begins…

12/07/2019  The Wine of Youth & Vintage Memories

When I went home for Thanksgiving, I returned with a bottle of wine I made with my former husband, Frank Schatzley, in 1973 when we lived in Kenosha. Back then we made wine and I baked fresh bread. We were newly married a couple of years and lived and worked in Kenosha until we moved to Madison in 1974 so I could return to school at UW-Madison.

The wine was a gift to my parents and was kept in my father’s 1960’s Knotty Pine Basement Bar, stored on its side in a cool, darkened basement for 46 years. It appears to be free of any sediment or issues with the cork. Frank and I made a few batches of wine in our pantry. The Blackberry wine made with Cabernet Sauvignon yeast was our most flavorful and successful pairing. This is the last bottle that remains.

07/10/2019  Leading Up to the 50th Anniversary of the Lunar Landing

04/25/2019  Spring Tune-Up Reward

After a winter characterized by nosebleeds that wouldn’t stop, precipitating multiple visits to Urgent Care and the ER and follow-up appointments with ENT doctors, my Annual Wellness Health Update, plus a final follow-up to the cataract surgeries, I rewarded myself with my first pair EVER of nonprescription sunglasses from Warby Parker. It was still early morning and dark when I took this photo, but wanted to show them off.

Bring on the sun!

02/28/2019  No More “Four Eyes”

On Tuesday, 02/26/2019 I had my second cataract removed. I was a good candidate for monovision. A new lens for reading and close work was placed in my right eye, and a lens for distance in my left, dominant eye. The outcome means, unless I have some depth perception loss while driving at night which may require prescription lenses, I will no longer be called the nickname of “four eyes” which I earned at the age of 12. Amazing.

02/18/2019  Sweet Penny Rocket

On Saturday, 02/16/2019 my ex-partner Cindy and her family had to say goodbye to our canine companion, Sweet Penny Rocket, that Cindy and I raised since a puppy when we were together. Penny was an English Springer Spaniel with the sweetest of dispositions, who of course loved the water, fetching balls and could run, yes, you guessed it, like a rocket! She will be forever missed.

I wrote the following poem after Cindy and I separated. Throughout my life, I shared it with partners, some who had children, and some with canine companions. Letting go of each of them happened in stages. This is a memory of Penny that seems perfect to commemorate her passing.

12/19/2018  Three Reasons

Three Reasons I’m drinking coffee out of my “affirmation mug” this morning:

1. I learned this week that people who drink their coffee black may be psychopaths (Full disclosure: I drink my coffee black).

2. Trump is still POTUS.

10/28/2018  Good-bye Helen, Neighbor, Friend, & More

Helen Aarli

Legacy

A house fly bounces
inside the rice paper lampshade.
Drawn to the light, it seeks an exit.
It’s the eve of Halloween
when the season changes
from daylight to darkness.

A neighbor, a friend,
an activist, a mother, and more,
a feminist, and mentor…
the list goes on.
Helen lived 92 years,
a full life, she shared.

A glass table in the third-floor lobby
of our apartment complex,
offers items free-for-the-taking,
the material footprint Helen left behind,
The Nation magazines, a water-filtering pitcher,
desk organizers, and more.

Her legacy is not the things left behind,
but the people, her activism,
her passion and joy, shared in hallways
and home, her book reviews
and conversations seasoned with wisdom
and served with coffee and tea, and more.

Good-bye, Helen,
thank you for the legacy
you left behind.

LLL
10-28-2018

07/14/2018  What Happens in the Writer’s Room, Stays in the Writer’s Room

…until you see the results on screen. I can’t show you what occurred in the writer’s room last night for the 48-Hour Film Project, but I can show you the writer’s room. It may look like nothing happened…but don’t be fooled. Stay tuned.  Photo credit: Aaron Kesller.

06/01/2018  Happy National Donut Day

As most of my friends and family are aware, I fell off the KETO diet wagon when I got sick at the the beginning of March when I caught the flu. I transitioned to what I would describe as a cheating hybrid diet: high fat, moderate protein and low carb, and slowly reintroduced the foods I craved, pasta, mashed potatoes, rice, and yes, full disclosure, sugary treats. I maintained my weight for a while and have gained back a couple of the 23 lbs. I lost. This leads up to my “true confession” breakfast this “National Donut Day” as celebrated in Wisconsin. A brat and two donuts plus a large mug of black, caffeinated coffee. The breakfast looks up at me this morning, smiles, and welcomes me back to bad eating habits! 😋 

02/14/2018  Valentine’s Day: Love What You Do

Photo: John Quinlan

On this holiday, in addition to celebrating the people we love (including ourselves), it’s also important to do the things we love and take pleasure and joy from living our passions. Today, I express my gratitude for the friends, family, and creative community who are sharing my filmmaking passion. To read more, click on Hotel Bar and Another Trip to the Hotel Bar.

01/01/2018  Happy New Year & the Start of a New Year’s Intention

Today, I start the KetoDiet. I’ve been on diets before. I was most successful when I was young. I walked EVERYWHERE, and had a physical job. Interestingly, my family, who was accustomed to seeing me “pleasing plump,” “Rubenesque,” or “big-boned,” thought I looked anorexic when I lost 60 lbs and had a fighting weight of 113. Next, I had success on stress diets when I divorced, came out as a lesbian, and admittedly, had some problems with alcohol. I also had success with Weight Watchers and Atkins a number of years ago but never succeeded with maintenance diets and sufficient exercise. My weight yo-yoed and I gained weight when I quit drinking (and ate more sugar), quit smoking after 20 years, worked at sedentary desk jobs, and simply aged. I now have weight and age-related conditions like arthritis, and inflammation, combined with my family history of Type II Diabetes and heart condition. Here’s what I know about my experience in recovery, I’ve had success with sobriety and abstaining from smoking, yet learning how to eat in a healthy, sustained way has always been my biggest challenge since it goes back to my childhood when I ate to comfort myself and became a lifelong emotional eater. Oh, My! Starting a diet on New Year’s has a success rate of 3/5 if you’re a betting person. Wish me luck (no, wish me discipline and resolve)! Stay tuned for updates. 

09/17/2017  The Last Weekend of Summer

Friday, September 22 is the first day of autumn. I love the changing of the seasons in the Midwest. This is what I saw out my window on the world this morning:

September Surrender

An old woman in a bright lipstick red raincoat
pedals her bicycle slowly down the wet street.
The rain has stopped, yet clouds
remain charcoal gray and the morning sun
breaks through, illuminating the tops of trees,
still green, now wearing golden headdresses.

Stinkbugs wander window screens, searching
for the welcome mat to their winter home.
Sunshine and humidity, summer’s final spritz
of light and steam, gives way to breezes and scents,
incense-like aromatics, of smoke and decaying flowers.
Summer surrenders to autumn, and so do I.

LLL
09/17/17

08/15/2017  Back to School for Trump

07/29/2017  ICBM: Not So Funny Anymore!

From CNN: “North Korea tested an intercontinental ballistic missile Friday that appears to have the range to hit major US cities, experts say, and prompted a fresh round of condemnation from the United States, China, Japan and South Korea.” For historical perspective: I went to elementary school and middle school in the mid 1950s thru mid 1960s. It’s not so funny anymore.

06/04/2017  Wonder Woman Mini-Review

First, let me go on record that I thoroughly enjoyed the film for reasons I will briefly outline, next let me simply state that this is not a feminist film that will eclipse all the movies to date that have objectified, discounted, or minimized the importance of women in life or characters in movies. This is a superhero movie, based on a comic book, and in this case, the superhero is a kick-ass woman who is beautiful, smart, and powerful, waging a battle against war. Who would not enjoy watching that story? Here’s what you’ll see: Amazing special affects, Amazon women on horses doing slow-motion acrobatics in the air with bows and arrows, choreographed like modern dance; fight scenes that for the most part are not gratuitous, classic confrontations with good and evil (always exaggerated using comic book conventions so you are never confused about who to root for), consistent acting by leads and supporting characters that includes a band of ethnically and culturally-diverse misfit heroes, and historical settings which are alternately realistic and impressionistic. What you’ll hear is a great soundtrack that swells with emotion on cue, sometimes inconsistent or wonky accents (always a challenge), and a screenplay that is for the most smart, not corny, laden with some great lines that the audience reacted to enthusiastically. Here’s my favorite, “I’m both frightened and aroused.” My recommendation to filmgoers, especially women, “suspend your disbelief,” sit back in your seat, and enjoy Wonder Woman waging peace.

05/05/2017   Health & Healthcare Update

Good morning on this Cinco de Mayo!  I’m alive and well, recovering from yesterday’s carpal tunnel release surgery. First, a thank you to “my person,” sister and friend, Tami for her help and most of all for her company yesterday. The wait for the procedure was longer than estimated, but the surgery only took 15 minutes and I was discharged shortly afterwards. I was awake when they rolled me into the OR and after anesthetizing me with ketamine (sometimes used to anesthetize large animals, LOL!) I went on a lovely trip. Ketamine: Psychological effects ranging from pleasant, dream-like states to delirium have occurred as ketamine wears off. Fortunately, my reaction was the former. I was in good hands with my surgeon and the whole team.  I’m grateful that I have healthcare coverage and I’m mad as hell that Congress took the action that they did yesterday. I thought it was ironic to be watching CNN and the House of Representatives vote in between watching videos of practical jokes and adult cartoons while we waited. Somehow, all three are somewhat related. Lastly, I want to thank everyone for your well-wishes, offers of help, and healing thoughts. I’m grateful!

04/22/2017   Earth Day: Show Some Love to Mother Earth!

On this Earth Day, I begin my day by attending the Dane County Farmer’s Market, just one gift from Mother Earth and the stewards who work it, harvest the bounty, and share the fruits (and vegetables) of their labor. As I write each morning, I look out my window on the world and watch the seasons change. In the past two or three weeks, I’ve witnessed the barren trees and grass turn green, flowers bloom, the quality of daylight change, the sun rise earlier, and set later, and the songs of birds welcome the morning. I’m grateful. We’re all responsible for protecting and caring for this planet we call home. We can’t allow the politics of greed and the denial of science destroy the environment which nurtures and supports us. Thank you to all who celebrate this day by marching in support of science and climate change. A final thank you to the legacy of the former Wisconsin governor and senator, Gaylord Nelson, who founded Earth Day.

04/08/2017   Saturday Morning This Spring Day

Warm temperatures, blue skies, and sunshine have finally arrived at the same time, the trifecta of the spring season, which inspired this poem this morning.

Saturday Morning This Spring Day

Saturday morning this spring day,
my senses take in the sounds, the smells,
the spectrum of blues and greens as dusty white,
wispy clouds streak across the new day’s morning sky.

In the distance, I can hear a jack hammer
pounding concrete in metered blows;
a parking lot will become a demolition site,
then a foundation, finally condos and lofts for artists.

Railroad crossing alarms sound, tenor bells create a symphony
with whistles and chirping bird song, jack hammer percussion,
joined by a freight train’s rolling thunder below my window,
first slow, speeding up, gasping a throaty exhalation.

The air is crisp and clear, no moisture to hold the aromatics
of the musky earth, yet the wind carries the hint of flowers,
fragrances of the season. Bulbs begin to bloom, trees bud,
rebirth and new beginnings, Saturday morning this spring day.

LLL

03/11/2017   The First Signs of Spring

Every year I take a Staycation in the spring, though I continue working during the day (and this year fewer hours and days). Evenings and the weekend in March and/or April is spent in darkened movie theaters watching films from the Wisconsin Film Festival. This year the festival runs from March 30 – April 6. I see 13 films if my purchase experience is successful. The second sign of spring is the start of Daylight Savings Time. We turn our clocks forward before going to bed tonight. A bonus this year, is tomorrow morning is also the March Full Moon, the Worm Moon.

03/04/2017  TGIF Now Means a Day of Just Living

My new part-time work schedule began this week, Monday – Thursday, 9:00 – 3:00, which means every Friday is the start of a three-day weekend. Yesterday was the first TGIF. I took my new car in for its first oil change and grabbed breakfast before an early $5 movie matinee, Get Out  (see it!). Afterwards, before I did taxes, I had a coffee and chocolate break. Yeah, life is good. I’m grateful! Read my essay on semi-working, full-time living, No More 9 to 5!

01/23/2017   One-Year Anniversary of My Mother’s Death

Today is the one year anniversary of my mother’s death. Our family gathered yesterday to support our father and each other. We celebrated Mom’s life by being together, sharing a meal, telling stories, crying and laughing, and will continue to do so today and tomorrow in her memory. My brother Rick from Colorado surprised us all by flying in for an extended weekend. Tami and her husband Ron were unable to be with us in person, along with other family in Colorado, Texas, and Las Vegas, yet we were together in spirit. Dad broke one of his rules too (and we laughed about that as well). Though Dad is a huge Packer and Badger football fan, when the family is together he doesn’t turn on the TV in the living room. He wants to be present with us. Yesterday the TV was turned on (a little wagering on the outcome ensued) and in the end we mourned the Packers along with other mother. Thank you for the support our family has received from our friends who we consider to be chosen family. For those of you who may be wondering, The Loud Family lived up to our reputation.

01/21/2017   Women’s March in Madison, Wisconsin (and all over the world)

Today, I march with millions of women and their supporters and families all over the world in support of women’s rights and in protest of Trump and regressive laws worldwide.

12/22/2016   Affirmation Coffee Mug

11/16/2016  Profiled at the Post Office

I was profiled at the Post Office today. I needed to buy stamps. Here’s how the conversation unfolded:

Postal worker: “What can I do for you today?”

Me: “I need a sheet of stamps.”

Postal worker: “What kind do you want?”

Me: “What kind do you have?”

Postal worker: Pulls out a sheet of Wonder Woman stamps.

Me: “Perfect!”

11/15/2016  Help for the Post-Election Blues

For my family, friends, and readers of my blog in Madison, Wisconsin, join us to process the election results and ramifications, and for support and empowerment at the Goodman Center. Moving Forward Together.

11/01/2016  Home: Writers Explore Its Meaning

I’m grateful that two of my submissions, a poem, Again, Again and an essay, Home: Hearth and Heart were selected for an anthology benefiting OM Village Tiny Homes in Madison, Wisconsin. I’m joining other writers tonight to read our work as part of the Fall Fundraising event. The anthology is for sale, all proceeds benefiting Occupy Madison’s Tiny House Village.   

08/14/2016  Hippie Christmas in Madison

The next 48 hours is “Hippie Christmas” in Madison, Wisconsin, the annual moving day rite, when student and many downtown leases expire and contents of their apartments pile up on the curb. Madison municipal workers do a great job of attempting to remove the debris, yet it still provides an opportunity (though apparently against the law) to trash pick, recycle, and search for the abandoned find. People are warned however to not take mattresses or upholstered furniture, you may be inviting bed bugs as your new roommates! Photo courtesy of Michelle Stocker of WSJ/Cap Times from August 2015.

07/31/2016  Hillary Clinton Wore a White Pantsuit

Hillary wore a white pantsuit when she accepted the nomination for President of the United States. She’s been criticized for years for wearing pantsuits, yet she honored the suffragettes who wore white when they fought for the right to vote and for the thousands of us who wore white when we marched in Washington in support of the Equal Rights Amendment.  Here’s a photo of me and the Madison, WI NOW contingent in Washington, DC from July 1978, wearing white when we marched in support of the Equal Rights Amendment (ERA). I’m wearing the aviator-style glasses that Gloria Steinem made popular and the screen-printed t-shirt I designed for our contingent.

05/29/2016  The Loud Family Plants Mom’s Flowers

Today is the first year my family gets together to plant flowers over the Memorial Day holiday weekend without Mom, yet we continue to carry on the tradition and plant flowers for her in her memory. This is something Dad wanted to do and us kids agreed. We are using donations from her funeral visitation to buy the flowers for her garden. Her legacy lives on in us and will live on in each bloom. Thinking of my mother and family today with love.

05/05/2016  The Seat of Creativity

Out with the old, in with the new. I say good-bye to the poorly assembled (by me) IKEA writing desk chair that I used for almost 15 years, and say hello to my new desk chair expertly put together by my brother-in-law, Ron, a handyman indeed. I hope to write in it for at least 20 years or more.

Old desk chair waiting for its demise

New desk chair waiting for its writer.

04/14/2016 The 18th Wisconsin Film Festival

Today the 2016 Wisconsin Film Festival kicks off 8 days of film-going with 158 movies.

Tonight’s opening night feature is Taika Waititi’s wonderful and hilarious Hunt for the Wilderpeople at The Barrymore Theater on Madison’s east side (a new venue for 2016) followed by an after party at the Harmony Bar and Grill.

For anyone trying to track me down over the course of the next week, when I’m not sleeping, working, or grabbing a bite to eat in between, you’ll find me at the movies, one of my favorite places in the world. I consider the Wisconsin Film Festival to be my springtime annual staycation. Following is a little background on the what, why, where and how I make my selections, then the list of my picks and itinerary for the week. I hope to see you at the movies, and stay tuned to this site for my post festival reviews and wrap-up.

First a couple of notes about my selection process:

• Since I work during the day, the earliest weekday film I can make is 6:00.
• From experience, I’ve not selected any films that begin at 8:00 or later. I’m a morning person.
• I’ve tried to leave sufficient travel and parking time between theaters and showtimes.
• I have a work event on Thursday, April 21 so I didn’t select any films that day.
• My maximum weekend number of films I can see in a day (based on previous experience) is 3.
• I like documentaries so there are a number of them that made my list.
• I’m a big Robert Altman fan so one of my picks is one of his films. He’s the featured director this year.
• Some of the films that I originally hoped to see were at times I wasn’t available or conflicted with other selections.

Here are my picks:

• Friday, 4/15, 6:30 pm “Cameraperson,”, UW Union South Marquee
• Saturday, 4/16, 11:00 am “Louder Than Bombs,” Sundance Cinema 6
• Saturday, 4/16, 4:30 pm, “Remember My Name,” UW Chazen Museum of Art
• Saturday, 4/16, 7:00 pm, “June Falling Down,” UW Union South Marquee
• Sunday, 4/17, 12:30 pm, “Unlocking the Cage,” Barrymore Theater
• Sunday, 4/17, 4:15 pm, “The Fear of 13,” Sundance Cinema 6
• Monday, 418, 6:00 pm, “The Witness,” Sundance Cinema 5
• Tuesday, 4/19, 6:30 pm, “Lo and Behold,” Sundance Cinema 6
• Wednesday, 4/20, 6:00 pm, “Starving the Beast,” Barrymore Theater

02/14/2016  Valentine’s Day Solitaire

01/19/2016  Winter in Wisconsin

I’ve often written about how much I appreciate the changing seasons in Wisconsin, however like most things in life, there are upsides and downsides. The downside this time of year is that you really can freeze your ass off!

01/01/2016

12/25/15 Happy Holidays from Madison, Wisconsin 

Since I didn’t send out Holiday cards this year, please accept this wonderful mural on the wall of Mother Fool’s Coffeehouse which I’m repurposing as my facsimile Holiday greeting. The photo is by Michelle Stocker of the Capital Times.

10/6/15 The Soundtrack of My Life: An Evening with Joan

Tonight I have a date to see and hear Joan Armatrading with my sister, Tami Reschke and her daughter, my niece, Gemma. What makes this so special for me is that I introduced my sister to Armatrading’s music, probably 30 years ago, and now we are introducing Gemma, another generation, to the remarkable singer-songwriter and musical talent of Joan Armatrading. I credit Joan with writing the soundtrack of my relationship life. I’m also looking forward to seeing my friends, Joan’s fans, and the newly remodeled University of Wisconsin Union Theater, renamed Shannon Hall, which has always been one of the premiere venues for music. Listen to Joan sing, Love and Affection.

Joan Armatrading

8/17/15 Woodstock Music & Arts Fair

46 years ago, a few friends and I were panhandling at Monument Square in my hometown of Racine, Wisconsin, attempting to finance a road trip to an outdoor rock concert in Woodstock, NY. We didn’t collect enough money to make the trip, so we spent our earnings at the movie theater instead. I don’t have many regrets in my life, but I always wished I had made it to Woodstock and wonder how different my life may have turned out.

7/9/15 Throw Back Thursday, 1969, “School for Wives”

Today’s TBT contribution from my college acting days at UW Parkside in 1969. I played Georgette, the coquettish servant, in Moliere’s “School for Wives.” I’m on the far left, and my good friend from that time, Dick Esser is on the far right.

6/28/15 Celebrating the SCOTUS Marriage Ruling

Where’s my spouse? Oh, I don’t have one! I’m still full of joy and celebrating all my married friends and family, and grateful that I have equal rights under the law to marry if I choose! One of my writing friends suggested my Conversations w/My Next Girlfriend blog series needs to be retitled, Conversations w/My Next Wife!

For those wondering why my profile picture looks serious and not joyful, I continue to use my WTF watchdog expression for my profile picture because there’s still lots of work to do to provide equal protection under the law for all people, regardless of race, ethnicity, socioeconomic and class status, gender identity, and religious beliefs (or not). Let’s keep fighting the good fight after we take some time to celebrate first!

5/9/15 On the Eve of Mother’s Day

First, I’d like to state how grateful I am that I still have my mother in my life to celebrate with tomorrow. I also want to acknowledge my friends who have recently had to say good-bye to their mothers, my friends Sandra, Julie and Abbie, and their families and loved ones. My thoughts are with you this weekend too and I wish you comfort during a day that I can only imagine when your grief will be amplified. I’m also grateful that I was witness to the journey of friends who were caregivers to their mother’s before their death, both Sandra and Julie, plus Leanne and years earlier Vig. You all have taught me so much about how to let go of a loved over a span of years. Lastly, I want to wish a Happy Mother’s Day to all my friends and family members who are mothers, including my former partners who were generous enough to share their children with me and allowed me the opportunity to be a mother too. I hail from matriarchal lines of women on both sides of my family and have learned how powerful mothers are as they love, nurture, mentor and protect their children. For Mother’s Day and my mother, my essay from 2013, A Grateful Daughter.

My Mother and I

5/2/15 Union Corners Project Updates

For those readers following my posts about LGBTQ- and  senior-friendly cohousing at Union Corners in Madison, Wisconsin, housing and retail projects are in the works with groundbreaking dates and a timeline for the UW Clinic, Fresh Thyme Farmer’s Market grocer, market rate and affordable housing, plus two cohousing communities, including MESCoH (Madison East Side Co-Housing). See project timeline and update below:

Click on the Madison.com link to read Mike Ivey’s article, Union Corners with organic market, cohousing finally to take shape.

4/11/15 50th Anniversary of the Palm Sunday Tornado

Palm Sunday Tornado Credit: Channel3000

Today marks 50 years since tornadoes ravaged parts of Wisconsin, Illinois, Indiana and Michigan on April 11, 1965, on Palm Sunday. My family was visiting relatives in Monroe, Wisconsin. My great Uncle, Freeman Mills, sold mobile homes at the time. When he heard the roar of the tornado barreling down on them like a freight train, he tackled the pregnant wife of the couple who he had been showing the trailer and shielded her with his body. Before the husband could finish his sentence that began, “What the hell do you think…” my uncle said “Hit the deck!” and the mobile home did a somersault in the air and landed back on it’s unsecured base. My cousin was in the park with the concrete band shell and got as close to the ground as he possibly could, my Aunt and parents were in downtown Monroe after shopping and having a bite at Baumgartner’s, and my sister and remaining cousins had been to the bowling alley. I was at my Aunt and Uncle’s house with my Grandmother and the babies. I watched the sky turn first from gray, to charcoal and then to green, as the wind was whipped around and the sound of birds and animals was a chorus of chaos, then it got eerily silent and the tornado came. When everyone returned home safely, my Aunt dispensed tranquilizers like they were candy. We were safe and sound, but many others were not so lucky. I was 15 years old.

3/17/15 Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

My great uncle, Joe Flanigan, owned a bar across the street from St. Patrick’s Church in Racine, WI. The priests would often visit Joe after mass for beer. We used to joke that Uncle Joe heard confessions from all the priests. On St. Patty’s Day all the beer was green and his normally red hair matched the beer!

3/14/15 Pi Day, Pie Day, and More

Pies, Pies, Pies – Painting by Wayne Thiebaud

Today is a special day for many reasons, some worthy of celebration, some not. Today is Pi Day, Pie Day (let’s all have a slice), Albert Einstein’s birthday, and for filmgoers in Wisconsin, Wisconsin Film Festival tickets go on sale at noon today. If I had remained married, today would be my 44th wedding anniversary, and lastly and sadly, today is the memorial Service for Tony Robinson.

2/20/15 Countdown to the Academy Awards, Sunday 2/22/15

Here are my picks for the top awards. This is not based on an analysis of the voting probabilities of the Academy, but simply part guesswork, part personal preference:

Best Picture: Boyhood                                                                                          

Director: Richard Linklater

Actor: Michael Keaton

Actress: Julianne Moore

Supporting Actor: J.K. Simmons                                                                  

Supporting Actress: Patricia Arquette

Documentary: Citizenfour

Animated Feature: How to Train Your Dragon 2

Foreign Language Film: Ida

Song: “Glory” from Selma

Make your own predictions. Here’s a ballot. I hope your favorites win!

2/13/15 Friday the 13th and the Eve of Valentine’s Day!

Dear Next Girlfriend, I hope you’ve been reading my conversations with you. If you’re resourceful, you may even find your Valentine.

2/5/15 Mixed Metaphors, Oh My! Has a Birthday Today!

Today is the 2nd anniversary of my blog. Apparently, I still have something to say and hopefully it continues to be worthy of sharing. Today’s Tidbit is s commentary on Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker’s attempt to rewrite the mission of the University of Wisconsin in his budget address on Tuesday, 2/3/2015:

Governor Scott Walker’s attempt to rewrite the mission of the University of Wisconsin by deleting the word “truth” and “The Wisconsin Idea” in his budget proposal failed. Now he’s left backpedaling, stating that it was a “drafting error.” I guess this is what happens when you attempt to delete the truth. He’s left with “rewriting” his intent. I hope the public, especially those that have supported him through the recall and his re-election begin seeing him for what he is, an agent of special interests and more concerned about his presidential ambitions than he is about the people he was elected to serve, and the great progressive traditions of our State and University. Shame on you, Governor Walker!

1/22/15 Another Dispatch from a Filmgoer

I saw American Sniper on Saturday. I was moved by Chris Kyle’s story as portrayed by Bradley Cooper (certainly deserving of his Best Actor Oscar nomination) in a film directed by Clint Eastwood based on Kyle’s memoir. I was also very conflicted by the story. Some background: In high school I volunteered for the Red Cross and rose at 5:00 a.m. to send off young men with care packages who were off to basic training, some who never returned after their call of duty, as a candy-striper I played bingo with recovering vets at Great Lakes Naval Hospital, some who lost limbs, others who lost the will to live, I marched against the war in Vietnam while in college, I sat up all night with male friends the night before they had to visit the induction center, I mourned the loss of friends and young men I grew with up who died in Vietnam. Years later I sat in anonymous circles with vets, who years after they served, struggled with addiction and PTSD. Like many others in this country, I was horrified by the terrorist attacks on 9/11, the ISIS beheading of hostages and the recent Charlie Hebdo murders. War extracts a high price on its people and its soul. In the words of Benjamin Franklin, “Wars are not paid for in wartime, the bill comes later.” I suggest that people see this film, talk about it, debate its merits, jingoism and themes in respectful ways with each other. Read reviews and commentary.

1/16/15 Dispatch from a Filmgoer

As a movie lover who is not a critic or a member of any professional film association, union, or guild, I still care deeply about filmmakers, their subjects, actors, and all the crews that practice their craft. I enjoy reading all of the reviews, op-ed pieces and commentary during award season. I look forward to the award shows, and celebrity spectacle, watching winners make acceptance speeches, particularly actors working without scripts. This year, however I’m concerned about the historical accuracy debate which seems to be applied to some films and not others. I know there are politics in every industry and behind-the-scenes campaigning by studios to promote their product. It is a business after all. What displeases me about it this year, especially with the Oscars, is that both people of color and women filmmakers are being singled out, not for recognition, but for snubs.

12/31/14 New Year’s Eve 2014

12/24/14 Holiday Wish

11/21/14 When a Friend Bakes You a Pie

When a friend, Leanne, who is famous for her pie-baking talents, volunteered to make a pumpkin pie for my mother for Thanksgiving after reading my blog post, Home for the Holidays on Mixed Metaphors, Oh My! it inspired this poem:

When a Friend Bakes You a Pie

Some days you know you are loved
because a friend bakes you a pie,
or makes sourdough pancakes,
delivers dinner to your door,
when homebound or grieving, or
visits on a day when depression
presses you down so hard
you feel like your flesh is cement
and your blood runs cold.

11/5/14 My Reaction to the Mid-Term Election Results

10/13/14  A Halloween Public Service Announcement on Behalf of Your Dog

Halloween is approaching. It’s prime time for costume planning — for you, your children and for some of you — your dogs. Since your dogs can’t talk back, other than bark, communicate with body language, or leave the room in distress, I offer this plea originally posted last year, Don’t Dress Up the Dog on Halloween.

Super Sad Hero

10/11/14 National Coming Out Day

Just in case I missed telling someone, or your were simply wondering, yes, I’m gay, I’m out, and I’m proud!

9/24/14 Red Sky at Morning

The first day of fall was yesterday. I love the changing seasons, and autumn is my favorite time of year. When I looked out this morning I saw the most beautiful sky.

9/6/14 Fifty Years Ago Today: My First Concert, The Beatles

The Beatles, The Milwaukee Arena 1964. Photo Credit: Journal-Sentinel

Today is the 50-year anniversary of an early life-changing event. As a 14-year-old girl discovering music, my teenage prayers were answered when my father  gave his permission for me  to attend The Beatles concert in Milwaukee with my three best friends, Joyce, Lin, and Sheila accompanied by Sheila’s mother (the first woman I met who owned and rode her own motorcycle).  It was a peak experience for which I continue to be extremely grateful. To read more, revisit my post, Beach Boys, Beatles, Bob Dylan & The Byrds.

6/9/14 Bring Back Our Girls – Girl Rising Mural

This past weekend I posted an essay on Mixed Metaphors, Oh My!,  Still I Rise: Girl Rising, inspired by a public art mural on the wall of Mother Fool’s Coffeehouse in Madison, Wisconsin. Today in the online version of Isthmus, our local independent weekly newspaper, Catherine Capellero shared the story in the Madland column about the girls who painted the mural. Six middle schoolers from O’Keefee  Middle School:  Adeline Geary, Skye Lukas, Odessa Chusid, Anabelle Poore, Ruby Sutherlin-Sovern, and Amelia Hoffman, members of a group called Girl Generation, conceived and painted the mural. 

Photo Credit:
Catherine Capellero

To read Capellero’s story in Isthmus,  click on Madland: New mural at Mother Fool’s is an inspiring tribute to missing Nigerian girls Catherine Capellaro on Monday 06/09/2014

4/26/14 Union Corners Latest Project Plan Receives Neighborhood Support Madison East Side Co-Housing (MESCoH) 

I was in attendance at the recent Union Corners neighborhood meeting and has been actively collaborating with the SASY neighborhood association, Gorman and Company and other stakeholders in the development of the Union Corners plan. For an update on the project proposal, read more here from The Daily Page.

Union Corners GDP

4/19/14 Wisconsin Film Festival Audience Award Winners Announced

The Wisconsin Film Festival named the annual Steep & Brew Audience Award winners for 2014. Each year they choose films from three categories: documentary, narrative, and restoration. Viewers rate the films on a five-point scale. This year’s winners:  American Revolutionary: The Evolution of Grace Lee Boggs  (documentary), The Rocket (narrative) and Vertigo (restoration). 

Grace Lee Boggs

American Revolutionary: The Evolution of Grace Lee Boggs was my favorite documentary of the films I saw this year. Click on the post title to read more about Grace Lee Boggs: Wisconsin Film Festival Fandom.

4/5/14 LGBTQ-Friendly Co-Housing in Madison Update:

The Madison, Wisconsin LGBTQ-friendly co-housing group continues to meet, working with a number of groups including the developer, Gorman and Company, SASY, the neighborhood association, and the Design Coalition and Design Coalition Institute, proponents of co-housing. We’ve named our group and have begun the process of creating our vision:

Madison East Side Co-Housing (MESCoH) is a group of individuals seeking to establish, design and build a community of homes and common spaces on the East Side of Madison, Wisconsin based on the co-housing model. We are exploring several potential locations for our co-housing community, including the proposed development at Union Corners. Members of MESCoH have expressed interest in such features as green-building, walkable neighborhoods, community gardens, outdoor common areas, and street design featuring traffic calming. MESCoH invites like-minded individuals with shared values and a commitment to participatory decision-making to join us as we develop our vision and mission statement and move forward to create a welcoming and diverse community that is affordable, intergenerational, LGBTQ- and senior-friendly, and dedicated to preserving the quality of life and vibrancy of our east side neighborhood.

Here’s the most recent design proposal from 4/3/14 with a description of the changes. The co-housing “pods” would be located in the lower right triangle:

Union Corners Draft Design 4/3/14

From the SASY Newsletter – Some of the highlights of the new site plan: Union Green has become a non-motorized vehicle entry.  A transit hub adds a one story structure with bike amenities and provides the entry to underground parking for the Clinic.  There is now an L-shaped array of mixed use buildings that abut the Union Green and E Wash and surrounds a small surface parking lot with a central green space that could be used for public uses.  The mixed use bldgs are part of the grocery/housing parcel and have openings to the interior of the site.  The triangle area is improved, the green courtyard has returned but there are still a lot of drive aisles that need to be addressed.  A pedestrian walkway cuts through most of the site but the treatment of it will need to be refined at the SIP level.

3/20/14 

I wrote this poem on the eve of the Equinox. Today is the first day of Spring! As they say, what a difference a day makes.

March Morning Malaise

Fog creeps in my day

like a bad mood

while spitting drizzle.

Sparse snowflakes

wander aimlessly

from the grayness above

like the forgotten homeless,

no destination

only moving on and on — and on.

LLL

3/10/14 

The Wisconsin Film Festival is one of my favorite events. On Saturday, I successfully ordered my tickets online. I got all my picks. Each year I try a different strategy from standing in line at the box office, ordering by phone or online. Last year I was in the front of the queue about an hour before the box office opened and it took an additional two hours after it opened to place my order and I didn’t get all my picks. This year I intended to order by phone, but kept getting a recording that the box office wasn’t opened yet. I heard stories from others about problems ordering online, yet this year found it to be pretty seamless.  I’m out of town and have another commitment for two days of the festival so this year I’m only seeing 8 films, instead of the dozen from recent years. Here they are: Actress Breathe In The Rugby Player, Happy Christmas, American Revolutionary: Grace Lee Bogs, The Congress, Visitor, and Cheatin.

3/1/14 

On Thursday, February 27th the elementary and junior high school where all of my siblings and I attended, and my father’s workplace for 30 years, had a devastating fire in the multipurpose room which doubled as a lunchroom and gymnasium. I loved being in that school, both during the day and in the evening when we’d pick my father up from work. I loved the terrazzo floors, the smell of sweeping compound and chalkboard dust, the walls of lockers, and the clock in the main hallway outside of the school office. I had some of the greatest teachers and experiences there that helped form who I am today. It was a sad day.

Henry Mitchell Elementary and Junior High School, Racine, Wisconsin.

2/16/14 

I watched the film Short Term 12 yesterday. I’ve added it to my Filmgoer’s Guide of the Best Films of 2013. It’s a small film with a big heart, a credible, and engaging drama that draws you in with ease. It begins with caretakers at a facility for at-risk youth welcoming the newest member of the team by sharing a funny, yet poignant work story. You care for these people immediately, both the workers and the residents, and soon discover the thin line that separates the two. There are different kinds of love stories happening here. Compassion, empathy, and connection are the tools that transform these lives. See this film, the work of a young writer-director, Destin Daniel Cretton, with a compelling cast featuring Brie Larson and John Gallagher, Jr. Read and see more here: NY Times review and film trailer.