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Thanksgiving: Things Change (Again!)

“The only constant is change.” — Heraclitus

“Things do not change; we change.” — Henry David Thoreau

As I write, it’s the Sunday before Thanksgiving. I’ve been rereading Thanksgiving Holiday journal entries from the past 12 years, plus my Thanksgiving blog reminiscences. A theme emerged which I’ve addressed before, yet continues to weave through my life — and the lives of loved ones — things change.

Thanksgiving is traditionally a family holiday, whether you celebrate it with your bio or chosen family. I’ve done both. Another theme became apparent as I reread what I’ve written in the past, grief and gratitude go hand-in-hand. Continue reading

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A Solitary Life: Living Independently

“What matters in life is not what happens to you but what you remember and how you remember it.” ― Gabriel García Márquez

“Memory is the diary that we all carry about with us.” — Oscar Wilde

Today is the 4th of July, the Independence Day Holiday. Yesterday, I began reflecting on the meaning of the day, which celebrates the independence of a nation following a revolution and the freedom of its people from an oppressive government. Of dire concern — we are living through what may be judged as another oppressive government — our own — as our elected leaders dismantle democracy and favor the corporate aristocracy and dominant white culture. We are not truly free and independent until we are all free and equal under the law. Continue reading

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Dispatch from the Hideout: What Was, What Will Be

“You can’t go back home to your family, back home to your childhood…back home to places in the country, back home to the old forms and systems of things which once seemed everlasting but which are changing all the time…” — Thomas Wolfe

On the Friday before the Memorial Day Holiday weekend, I reminisced about holidays past. Years ago, a group of friends nicknamed, ‘The Orphans,’ would plan an annual camping trip to Peninsula State Park in Fish Creek in Door County, Wisconsin. We dubbed these one of the ‘The Orphan Holidays.’ From a vignette from my memoir in the works, Perfectly Flawed.  Continue reading

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Dispatch from the Hideout: Skin Hunger

“Touch is the first language we speak.” — Stephen Gaskin

“Touch has a memory.” — John Keats 

As I continue to chronicle my COVID-19 journey in this seventh in a series of dispatches from the hideout, I’m faced with identifying my fundamental needs as I socially distance. I’m reminded by op-ed pieces that more precisely — we’re physically distancing — that we can still reach out and interact with each other virtually — or at a safe distance of six feet in small groups of people.

Though I’ve started to work at my new job at an LGBTQ+ community center, it remains closed to the public which it serves. A small group of staff, including part-time advocates like myself, provide services and plan for an uncertain future, aka, the new normal. I’m grateful for the opportunity to work and to collaborate with others again, especially since I’ve spent, for the most part, the past almost 10 weeks, physically alone. Continue reading

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Dispatch from the Hideout: Back to Life

“It’s back to normal, but it’s a different normal. It’s not the same as it was before, but people are getting back to work. Life goes on. ― Eric Young

“If you are always trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing you can be.” ― Maya Angelou

On May 1st it’s back to life, a return to some degree of normal, however, it will certainly be different, a new normal. I return to work and begin a new job as an LGBTQ+ AODA Advocate. I’m grateful. Continue reading

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Dispatch from the Hideout: Home Alone Easter Holiday

Like most holidays I celebrated as a child, Easter was a hybrid of religious traditions, the social culture from the generation in which I grew up, and our own ethnic and family rituals, which we repeated in some fashion every year.  

Easter Holidays Past

Note: Includes excerpts from Poop Eggs & Lamb Cakes

Today is the Easter Holiday and Passover. Growing up in the 1950s and 1960s, my family had many traditions which we repeated every year, some with glee, and others with complaints. On Easter Saturday, we’d color eggs, which the Easter Bunny would hide that night. Mom boiled two or three dozen as our family grew. She’d cover the kitchen table with newspaper and the kids would crowd around it with our crayons, the white wax marker to write our names, a spoon in hand ready to dip the eggs in the assembly line of Easter egg dye in her Corelle coffee cups. Continue reading

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Dispatch from the Hideout: Pandemic Edition

“If you lived here, you’d be home by now.” Firesign Theater

Yes, I’m home, homebound, socially distancing, not quite in a lockdown, not totally self-quarantining. I’m staying in, doing my civic duty to protect our community and to keep myself healthy. Do I get a Girl Scout Badge for that?

I’ve been socially distancing to some degree since February 28th when I was laid-off from my job which was eliminated due to a company reorganization. In the interim, I’ve conducted a job search, applied and received Unemployment Compensation, registered at the Department of Workforce Development (DWD) Job Center, and gratefully, interviewed for a couple of positions before the community spread of COVID-19 changed everything. I also had a few dates with friends for coffee and/or brunch. I delivered birthday cards to my niece Gemma and nephew Quinn. With their mother, my sister, Tami, we visited outside, 6-feet apart, and I elbow-bumped my brother-in-law, Ron. All that has now ended too. Continue reading

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70 Is NOT the New 60, It’s 70!

(Or, the Third Act before the curtain closes)

 “There’s a moment when people know — whatever their skills are at denial — that they have passed from what they can delude themselves into thinking is middle age to something that you could call the third act.”Nora Ephron

“Aging is an extraordinary process where you become the person you always should have been.” David Bowie

First, let me say at the outset that I’m grateful that I’m above ground and not dust in the wind. When I was nearing my 65th birthday five years ago, I found this factoid reassuring. If one lives to the age of 65, they have an 80% chance to live twenty more years to 85 years old. Hallelujah! Continue reading

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Comfort Food: Winter Blues, Holidays, & Weight Gain

“Food is a lot of people’s therapy when we say comfort food, we really mean that. It’s releasing dopamine and serotonin in your brain that makes you feel good.” — Brett Hoebel

“Comfort food is the food that makes us feel good — satisfied, calm, cared for and carefree. It’s food that fills us up both mentally and physically. Finding comfort in food is a basic human experience.” — Ellie Krieger

Last night, I turned the clocks back an hour. This morning the sun rose earlier and tonight it will set sooner. Daylight Savings Time is over and regardless of your views on its merits — or not — for me it’s the onset of Living the Mole Life, a season characterized by comfort foods, winter blues, the holidays, and weight gain. I isolate, sleep, and eat more than I do the rest of the year. I basically hibernate and retreat to my hideout. Continue reading

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Dispatch from the Hideout: Premature Hibernation

“In order to understand the world, one has to turn away from it on occasion.” ― Albert Camus

“Your visions will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.” ― C.G. Jung

Though it’s not officially autumn yet, I feel the urge to go underground, to hibernate prematurely. Like caterpillars who cocoon in a chrysalis and emerge in a new form as a butterfly, it’s my desire to find a safe place to enable transformation.

The world seems like it’s becoming more threatening, whether it’s our natural world and the consequences of climate change, or our political environment and the actions and policies by those currently in power. On a personal level, things sometime happen to us — and for me — how I respond makes a difference in my emotional and spiritual health and serenity. While there are storms happening outside of me, there’s also turmoil and uncertainty stirring within. Continue reading

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