Tag Archives: Friends

Dispatch from the Hideout: Skin Hunger

“Touch is the first language we speak.” — Stephen Gaskin

“Touch has a memory.” — John Keats 

As I continue to chronicle my COVID-19 journey in this seventh in a series of dispatches from the hideout, I’m faced with identifying my fundamental needs as I socially distance. I’m reminded by op-ed pieces that more precisely — we’re physically distancing — that we can still reach out and interact with each other virtually — or at a safe distance of six feet in small groups of people.

Though I’ve started to work at my new job at an LGBTQ+ community center, it remains closed to the public which it serves. A small group of staff, including part-time advocates like myself, provide services and plan for an uncertain future, aka, the new normal. I’m grateful for the opportunity to work and to collaborate with others again, especially since I’ve spent, for the most part, the past almost 10 weeks, physically alone. Continue reading

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Dispatch from the Hideout: Back to Life

“It’s back to normal, but it’s a different normal. It’s not the same as it was before, but people are getting back to work. Life goes on. ― Eric Young

“If you are always trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing you can be.” ― Maya Angelou

On May 1st it’s back to life, a return to some degree of normal, however, it will certainly be different, a new normal. I return to work and begin a new job as an LGBTQ+ AODA Advocate. I’m grateful. Continue reading

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Dispatch from the Hideout: Home Alone Easter Holiday

Like most holidays I celebrated as a child, Easter was a hybrid of religious traditions, the social culture from the generation in which I grew up, and our own ethnic and family rituals, which we repeated in some fashion every year.  

Easter Holidays Past

Note: Includes excerpts from Poop Eggs & Lamb Cakes

Today is the Easter Holiday and Passover. Growing up in the 1950s and 1960s, my family had many traditions which we repeated every year, some with glee, and others with complaints. On Easter Saturday, we’d color eggs, which the Easter Bunny would hide that night. Mom boiled two or three dozen as our family grew. She’d cover the kitchen table with newspaper and the kids would crowd around it with our crayons, the white wax marker to write our names, a spoon in hand ready to dip the eggs in the assembly line of Easter egg dye in her Corelle coffee cups. Continue reading

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Dispatch from the Hideout: Home Alone Edition

“There’s a difference between solitude and loneliness.” — Maggie Smith

“Loneliness is the poverty of self; solitude is richness of self.” ― May Sarton 

This past week I hit the wall to use a metaphor. The difference between solitude and loneliness became viscerally clear. I consider myself someone who enjoys my own company and solitude, who goes to great lengths to protect it, and over the years has learned to be both independent and resilient, two skills critical to survive the pandemic. Continue reading

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Confessions of a Blogger: Conversations with Myself

“My blog musings are conversations with myself to which you’re invited to listen.”  — Mixed Metaphors, Oh My!

I’ve lived alone now for almost a dozen years. It changes a person, or in the very least, it changed me. As someone with a history of codependency, I’ve been other or outward-oriented. In the past, I often looked outside of myself to gauge how I was feeling or what I was thinking. Gratefully, recovery and therapy put the focus back on me. Now I ask, “What am I feeling? What are my thoughts?”

The tradeoff is at home — and sometimes in my office at work or in public — I talk to myself out loud. When I first started living alone and talking aloud, I worried about this behavior. I soon reminded myself of a couple of characteristics that I possess, I’m an auditory person, and for the most part, socially extroverted, though the longer I’ve lived alone, the more introverted I’ve become. I now consider myself an ambivert. Continue reading

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70 Is NOT the New 60, It’s 70!

(Or, the Third Act before the curtain closes)

 “There’s a moment when people know — whatever their skills are at denial — that they have passed from what they can delude themselves into thinking is middle age to something that you could call the third act.”Nora Ephron

“Aging is an extraordinary process where you become the person you always should have been.” David Bowie

First, let me say at the outset that I’m grateful that I’m above ground and not dust in the wind. When I was nearing my 65th birthday five years ago, I found this factoid reassuring. If one lives to the age of 65, they have an 80% chance to live twenty more years to 85 years old. Hallelujah! Continue reading

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Comfort Food: Winter Blues, Holidays, & Weight Gain

“Food is a lot of people’s therapy when we say comfort food, we really mean that. It’s releasing dopamine and serotonin in your brain that makes you feel good.” — Brett Hoebel

“Comfort food is the food that makes us feel good — satisfied, calm, cared for and carefree. It’s food that fills us up both mentally and physically. Finding comfort in food is a basic human experience.” — Ellie Krieger

Last night, I turned the clocks back an hour. This morning the sun rose earlier and tonight it will set sooner. Daylight Savings Time is over and regardless of your views on its merits — or not — for me it’s the onset of Living the Mole Life, a season characterized by comfort foods, winter blues, the holidays, and weight gain. I isolate, sleep, and eat more than I do the rest of the year. I basically hibernate and retreat to my hideout. Continue reading

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Memorial Day: Memories, Flowers, & Gratitude

“What matters in life is not what happens to you but what you remember and how you remember it.” ― Gabriel García Márquez

Flowers have long been used to memorialize loved ones and symbolize new beginnings, which makes them an ideal tribute to observe Memorial Day.

This Memorial Day Holiday weekend I find myself looking back, remembering loved ones now departed, friends and family traditions that have changed, and loved ones who’ve moved away from Wisconsin. Many new beginnings start with good-byes and letting go.  Memorial Day is a holiday to remember those who served and died for our country — and for my family — to remember our family members who are no longer with us in life yet remain in memory. Grateful. Continue reading

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Filmgoer’s Wrap-Up: 2019 Wisconsin Film Festival

“A good movie can take you out of your dull funk and the hopelessness that so often goes with slipping into a theatre; a good movie can make you feel alive again, in contact, not just lost in another city. Good movies make you care, make you believe in possibilities again.” — Pauline Kael

The 2019 Wisconsin Film Festival (WFF) #wifilmfest wrapped up a little over two weeks ago. I feel like I’m just beginning to recover from eight days of filmgoing, seeing multiple films each day, standing in queues to secure a good seat in sold out theaters in what amounted to four seasons of weather (winter returning again today), plotting logistics for travel in between venues, finding parking, coordinating plans with filmgoing friends, and grabbing caffeine or sustenance as required. As a person on the eve of becoming a septuagenarian, it also means getting enough rest while still working a part-time day job.  As a cinephile and not a critic, to mix metaphors, I’m more like a filmgoing weekend warrior than a true filmgoing athlete. Continue reading

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Celebrating 62 Psychedelic Years of Cindy Castro

What a Long Strange Trip It’s Been! In her tie-dyed t-shirts and sandals, with the ‘devil in her eyes’ looks and mischievous smile, Cindy was a singular free spirit, a strong-willed, and hard-headed survivor.”

For readers of this blog and my posts on social media, you’ve been following the journey of our sister Cindy Castro who was diagnosed with Stage 4 Terminal Cancer in March of 2018. She died on January 13, 2019, which ironically was my birthday, reminding me of two things. First, how grateful I am that Cindy was my sister, and second that I was lucky enough to live another year to celebrate the anniversary of my birth.  This date will forever be a reminder for me of beginnings and endings, the cycle of life. Continue reading

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