Recovery | Mixed Metaphors

Aug 02 2020

Posts

Dispatch from the Hideout: Letter to Loved Ones

“Either write something worth reading, or do something worth writing.” — Benjamin Franklin

“The goal isn’t to live forever, it’s to create something that will.” — Chuck Pahlaniuk

First some background. As my Mixed Metaphors, Oh My! readers know, I’m a writer and blogger. Friends and family, from firsthand experience, are also aware I’m a storyteller. I’m 70-years-old, yet consider myself young at heart and continue to be a student of life. I’m a work in progress, and perfectly flawed. I live alone and on the continuum of introvert/extrovert, I fall in between. I’m an ambivert.

I’ve been socially distancing and sheltering-in-place to some degree since my previous job ended at the end of February and has continued due to the coronavirus pandemic. Since May, I began working part-time at a job as an LGBTQ+ AODA Advocate that is more an avocation than vocation. I’m grateful. Continue reading →

Tagged Ambivert, Blogging, COVID-19, Death, Dispatch from the Hideout, Family, Friends, Grief, Journals, Legacy, Letter to Loved Ones, Loss, Love, Memoir, Mixed Metaphors, Pandemic, Recovery, Relationships, Safer-at-Home, Shelter-in-Place, Wisconsin Historical Society Journal Project

Jul 04 2020

Posts

A Solitary Life: Living Independently

“What matters in life is not what happens to you but what you remember and how you remember it.” ― Gabriel García Márquez

“Memory is the diary that we all carry about with us.” — Oscar Wilde

Today is the 4th of July, the Independence Day Holiday. Yesterday, I began reflecting on the meaning of the day, which celebrates the independence of a nation following a revolution and the freedom of its people from an oppressive government. Of dire concern — we are living through what may be judged as another oppressive government — our own — as our elected leaders dismantle democracy and favor the corporate aristocracy and dominant white culture. We are not truly free and independent until we are all free and equal under the law. Continue reading →

Tagged AA, Blogging, Childhood Memories, COVID-19, Family, Fireworks, Fourth of July, Friends, Holidays, Home, Journals, Memoir, Memories, Parades, Racine, Recovery, Relationships, Reminiscence, Safer-at-Home, Solitary Life, The Orphan Holidays, Wisconsin

Apr 06 2020

2 Comments

Posts

Dispatch from the Hideout: Home Alone Edition

“There’s a difference between solitude and loneliness.” — Maggie Smith

“Loneliness is the poverty of self; solitude is richness of self.” ― May Sarton

This past week I hit the wall to use a metaphor. The difference between solitude and loneliness became viscerally clear. I consider myself someone who enjoys my own company and solitude, who goes to great lengths to protect it, and over the years has learned to be both independent and resilient, two skills critical to survive the pandemic. Continue reading →

Tagged 12-Steps, AA, Alone, COVID-19, Dispatch from the Hideout, Family, Friends, Gratitude, Grief, Home Alone, Loneliness, Pandemic, Recovery, Shelter-in-Place, Sobriety, Social Distancing, Solitude, Stay-at-Home, Tools to Survive the Pandemic

Dec 15 2019

Posts

Confessions of a Blogger: Conversations with Myself

“My blog musings are conversations with myself to which you’re invited to listen.” — Mixed Metaphors, Oh My!

I’ve lived alone now for almost a dozen years. It changes a person, or in the very least, it changed me. As someone with a history of codependency, I’ve been other or outward-oriented. In the past, I often looked outside of myself to gauge how I was feeling or what I was thinking. Gratefully, recovery and therapy put the focus back on me. Now I ask, “What am I feeling? What are my thoughts?”

The tradeoff is at home — and sometimes in my office at work or in public — I talk to myself out loud. When I first started living alone and talking aloud, I worried about this behavior. I soon reminded myself of a couple of characteristics that I possess, I’m an auditory person, and for the most part, socially extroverted, though the longer I’ve lived alone, the more introverted I’ve become. I now consider myself an ambivert. Continue reading →

Tagged Activism, Blogging, Family, Friends, Journaling, Journalism, Journey, Legacy, Lysistrata, Memoir, Personal Narratives, Politics, Publishing, Recovery, Reminiscence, Stories, Talking to Myself, Writing

Sep 12 2019

1 Comment

Posts

Dispatch from the Hideout: Premature Hibernation

“In order to understand the world, one has to turn away from it on occasion.” ― Albert Camus

“Your visions will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.” ― C.G. Jung

Though it’s not officially autumn yet, I feel the urge to go underground, to hibernate prematurely. Like caterpillars who cocoon in a chrysalis and emerge in a new form as a butterfly, it’s my desire to find a safe place to enable transformation.

The world seems like it’s becoming more threatening, whether it’s our natural world and the consequences of climate change, or our political environment and the actions and policies by those currently in power. On a personal level, things sometime happen to us — and for me — how I respond makes a difference in my emotional and spiritual health and serenity. While there are storms happening outside of me, there’s also turmoil and uncertainty stirring within. Continue reading →

Tagged AA, Ambivert, Autumn, Changing of the Seasons, Couples Therapy, Death, Dispatch from the Hideout, Family, Home, Isolate, Legacy, Mental Health, Premature Hibernation, Recovery, Relationships, Therapy, Underground, Winter

Jul 05 2019

1 Comment

Posts

To-Do List Confessions, Or How I’m a Little Bit OCD

“The only thing more important than your to-do list is your to-be list. The only thing more important than your to-be list is to be.” ― Alan Cohen

“Sometimes our stop-doing list needs to be bigger than our to-do list.” ― Patti Digh

Today as I write, it’s the Fourth of July Holiday, which for my part-time work schedule means it’s the beginning of a four-day weekend ― and an opportunity to power-load my weekly to-do list to capacity. I’m not an electrical engineer, yet it sounds like I run the risk of blowing a circuit, and some days it feels that way. Continue reading →

Tagged Confession, Datebook, Human Becoming, Human Being, Human Doing, Journaling, Journals, List-Making, Mundane Life, OCD, Post-It Notes, Procrastination, Recovery, To-Do Lists

Jun 30 2019

2 Comments

Posts

Random Topics III

Sober Bars, Emotional Labor, and Salad Frosting

“So much of life, it seems to me, is determined by pure randomness.” — Sidney Poitier

“Creativity is the ability to introduce order into the randomness of nature.” — Eric Hoffer

From the introduction of the first in the series of Random Topics:

“As a blogger, I mine my daily life for topics to write about. I set out to find something timely and meaningful, something that my readers can relate to, a universal message or lesson to discover in my lived experience. Another option is to choose a subject from the news of the day to comment on, however sometimes current events are tragically overwhelming.”

“I’m often left to choose from the mundane or subjects that pique my curiosity. When this happens, the only common theme is the randomness of my choices. Today, I offer three random topics with absolutely no connection or relation to each other at least that I’m aware of at the outset of this essay. Perhaps as I write, I may discover the subtle relationships that bind them together. Life is like that.” Continue reading →

Tagged AA, Al-Anon, Coffeehouses, Connecting the Dots, Division of Labor, Emotional Labor, Gay Bars, Hotel Washington, LGBTQ Bars, Low & No-ABV Cocktails, Lysistrata, Mocktails, Random Topics, Recovery, Salad Frosting, Sober Bars, Sober Curious, Stonewall In

Nov 21 2018

Posts

Hibernation & the Holidays: Retreat to the Hideout

Hibernation definition — an extended period of remaining inactive or indoors

Hideout synonyms — hiding place, hideaway, retreat, refuge, shelter, safe house, sanctuary, sanctum

First, I’m a creature of habit. I find comfort in my routines. There’s a rhythm to my days and nights. I read somewhere recently that we all experience some degree of OCD behavior. It’s certainly true for me. The gears of my Circadian clock are still trying to mesh with some synchronicity since the ending of Daylight Savings Time (DST) and turning the clocks one hour behind. Who knew that would make such an impact? They’re grinding a little right now as I try to slip back into a sleep cycle. Continue reading →

Tagged Chosen Family, Death, Family, Father, Friends, Hideout, Holidays, Home, Loss, Memories, Mother, Racine, Recovery, Relationships, Retreat, Seasons, Sisters, Stories, Thanksgiving, The Changing Seasons, The Loud Family, Winter

Nov 26 2017

Posts

Another Dispatch from the Hideout

“Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness.” — Desmond Tutu

It seems that I’ve retreated to the hideout again. For those not familiar with my earlier post, the hideout is a virtual one, described as follows, “I don’t have a cabin in the woods, or a bunker in the basement, I only have my home, a 645-square foot apartment. It’s where I wake up in the morning, retreat at the end of the work day, hideout on the weekends when I’m writing or feeling introverted, and end my days, often falling asleep on the couch watching TV. Yeah, I’m that girl. I live alone and most days I’m happy with that choice.” Continue reading →

Tagged AA, Depression, Family, Father, Grace, Gratitude, Grief, H.A.L.T., Holidays, Home, Hope, Mother, Racine, Recovery, Sisters, Thanksgiving

Oct 22 2017

2 Comments

Posts

Me Too — DAMMIT!

Trigger Warning: This essay contains firsthand memories of sexual molestation and harassment.

From my memoir, Perfectly Flawed:

“It was during one of those occasions I lay napping on the guest bed at my maternal grandmother’s house, on the chenille bedspread under the picture of the geese taking flight from the marsh, Charlie came into the bedroom to wake me. As I struggled to gain consciousness and understand what was happening, I could feel Charlie’s beard stubble scrape my cheeks like sandpaper. His beer and cigar-soaked breath was at my ear, breathing heavily. Continue reading →

Tagged #MeToo, Addiction, Alcoholism, Don't Talk Rules, Male Gaze, Molestation, Rape, Recovery, Repressed Memories, Secrets, Sexual Assualt, Sexual Harassment, Shame

Mixed Metaphors

Mixed Metaphors, Oh My! – A place where words, this writer, and readers play together.

Tag Archives: Recovery

Dispatch from the Hideout: Letter to Loved Ones

A Solitary Life: Living Independently

Confessions of a Blogger: Conversations with Myself

Dispatch from the Hideout: Premature Hibernation

Random Topics III

Hibernation & the Holidays: Retreat to the Hideout

Another Dispatch from the Hideout

Me Too — DAMMIT!