“Where there is power, there is resistance.” ― Michel Foucault
There are many tools for living that I’ve acquired over the years from parents, mentors, school, books, films, spiritual practices, and recovery from substances and unhealthy behaviors. I’m most grateful for the latter, which saved my life. Today, we are faced with challenges in personal, social, and political spheres. Now, more than ever, I need to pay attention to what I resist. Continue reading
UPDATE 02/25/2020: Three years ago, I began working part-time for my employer for whom I had worked full-time as a manager for almost 10 years. I became an hourly employee and the trade-off was I was able to work 20 hours a week and have three-day weekends.
Now that this job is ending, due to a company reorg, I’m reconsidering returning to full-time employment if I can combine my professional and avocational experience. In this third chapter of my life, I’d like to do work that aligns with my passions and commitment to social justice. Following is the original post from February 25, 2017.
It’s still winter in Wisconsin. After a week of record-breaking temperatures of spring-like weather — a hopeful tease of things to come — then came the rain, sleet, ice pellets, followed by snow and howling winds. We’re reminded that winter remains for a few more weeks before spring arrives. Spring is a season of hope and new beginnings. So is my life today, as I cross the threshold of my third act. Cue up Dolly Parton, no more “9 to 5.” Continue reading
The Final Episode: This is the last in a series of imaginary conversations with my next girlfriend.
Dear Next Girlfriend,
It’s time. It was bound to happen sooner rather than later. I’ve been having lots of one-way conversations in my head with my ex-girlfriend and you — my next girlfriend. I’ve been living in the past, or imagining the future. As I said, it’s time. It’s time to be in the moment, in the here and now, and accept, yes, fully accept, that I’m single and I’m okay — all that TM (Transactional Analysis) self-help, self-talk from the bestselling self-help book I’m Okay, You’re Okay from 1969 that in 1972 made the New York Times Best Seller List. Next girlfriend, it’s not exactly like we’re breaking up — we never got together! Continue reading
“I get by with a little help from my friends.” — Lyrics by John Lennon and Paul McCartney
Last weekend I attended a recovery enrichment workshop at Edgewood College presented by Fred Holmquist of Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation’s Dan Anderson Renewal Center. The experience was a powerful reminder of the role recovery circles have played in my life. Over the years I’ve sat in many circles in outpatient treatment, aftercare, 12-step meetings, and retreats. Yet this is simply one sphere of my life where circles of friends and peers have empowered me. Continue reading
Note: This is the ninth episode in a series of imaginary conversations with my next girlfriend.
Saturday, June 20, 2015
Dear Next Girlfriend,
It’s a cloudy, grey, overcast day — the eve of the Summer Solstice. Showers moved through the area earlier as thunder rumbled and tumbled in the distance. The sun is trying to find its way through the clouds overhead, outside the window where I write. The weather matches my mood as I hope to find the partly sunny outlook or the glass half full way of thinking before the longest day of the year arrives. I’m reflective. I know I’m mixing metaphors — it’s what I do. Continue reading
“What goes around comes around.” — The basic definition of how karma, the law of cause and effect, works.
“And in the end, the love you make is equal to the love you take.” — Lyrics from the Beatles song, The End, composed by Paul McCartney and credited to Lennon-McCartney. It was the last song recorded collectively by all four Beatles from the album, Abbey Road.
This is a tale of two quilts, two long-term relationships, two sisters and two lessons about karma. Continue reading
Holidays, like the changing seasons or the pages of a calendar recur, and though we often follow rituals and traditions like templates, things change. Two of my favorite quotes address change, the first by the Greek philosopher, Heraclitus, “The only constant is change” and the second by Henry David Thoreau, American author, philosopher and naturalist who wrote in his book Walden, “Things do not change; we change.” Both, I believe are true. Continue reading
Preface
Since the breakup of my fifteen-year relationship, five-and-a-half years ago, I remain living in the past to some degree. I’m aware that as long as my past inhabits my present, I’m essentially still in a relationship, even if it’s predominately virtual and one-sided. I have conversations in my head — the closure and amends we never had a chance to process together; I work out the “hers, mine and ours” unfinished business of the breakup in scenarios in my dreams, I continue to share stories with friends that begin, “When I was with my ex…” and I make promises to myself to never repeat the same mistakes, or expect people to be anything but who they are, not what I wished they’d be, and yes, I include myself in that awareness. This is the legacy of being the person who was left. It takes time. The good news is we are working on redefining our relationship as friends and chosen family. Continue reading