Tag Archives: Loss

The Ex Files

“Well, I’ve been afraid of changing
‘Cause I’ve built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Children get older
I’m getting older too”    
Landslide, Stevie Nicks and Fleetwood Mac

Thomas Wolfe’s posthumously published novel, You Can’t Go Home Again, posits that we can never return to the home or town we left and find that it has remained as we remember, that the people and place are the same, though we have changed. The comfort we may seek in reliving memories is elusive. You can return home or revisit relationships however, and discover how much things have changed and remained the same.   Continue reading

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Because Love

be·cause 

biˈkz,-ˈkəz/ conjunction 1. for the reason that; since.

love

ˈləv\  noun 1. a feeling of strong or constant affection for a person

Language, its etymology and meanings, evolves and reflects the times. And, so does love. Recent events illustrate both these points. The first is the word “because” which was named the 2013 Word of the Year by the American Dialectic Society. The selection recognized that because is now being used in new ways to introduce a noun, adjective, or other part of speech.  Continue reading

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Things Left Unsaid

“The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone.”   ― Harriet Beecher Stowe

“Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.”  ― Benjamin Franklin

The New Year held lessons and reminders for me from the very beginning. First, I must acknowledge my gratitude for the outcome, it has given me an opportunity to practice what I’ve learned this week, which is to say the things left unsaid, and to quiet my voice when what I’m tempted to say is hurtful, unnecessary, or gossip. Continue reading

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Snow Days

It is the morning after the longest night of the year, the Winter Solstice. Snow in big fluffy flakes is falling sideways, blowing easterly. Yesterday’s ice glazed trees and roads today are flocked in white. It is a snow day in Wisconsin. Continue reading

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There Were Stories

I returned home from the holiday this year thinking about what awaits ahead, by reflecting on what lies behind. I thought of the the line from Shakespeare’s play, The Tempest. “The past is prologue.”  Poetry by T.S. Eliot also comes to mind.

“We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.” 
T.S. Eliot, Four Quartets

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Thanksgiving: Things Change

Holidays, like the changing seasons or the pages of a calendar recur, and though we often follow rituals and traditions like templates, things change. Two of my favorite quotes address change, the first by the Greek philosopher, Heraclitus, “The only constant is change” and the second  by Henry David Thoreau, American author, philosopher and naturalist who wrote in his book Walden, “Things do not change; we change.”  Both, I believe are true. Continue reading

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Am I Blue?

“Am I blue, am I blue, ain’t these tears telling you, am I blue, you’d be too” —Billie Holiday

Blue Is the Warmest Color is the Cannes Film Festival’s Palme d’Or winning story of a young woman’s first love and loss. In an unusual move, the film’s French director, Abdellatif Kechiche, accepted the award alongside it’s two female leads, Léa Seydoux and Adèle Exarchopoulos. This was more surprising given the controversy surrounding the film and the working conditions for the actors who described the experience as “horrible.” Seydoux went even further when she said that Kechiche made her feel “like a prostitute.” Continue reading

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There Will Be Stories

Like most other families, when mine gets together there will be stories. Some stories are the ritual retelling of past shared memories, the mythology we’ve created and strive to preserve. Other stories are simply gossip, told family-style, which in ours means we are usually talking about the absent relative, so there’s additional incentive to attend family gatherings if you want to protect your reputation or tell your side of the story. Lastly, we tell stories to impart our values and create a family legacy for the next generation. Continue reading

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Motherless Daughters

“The death of a mother is the first sorrow wept without her.”  Author Unknown

First, I must state that my mother is alive and well (in a manner of speaking), 80 years old living with my father in the house I grew up in. I’m lucky. Today, I can go home again. I’m saddened and concerned however, that my mother struggles with health issues, some of which are her genetic legacy (and probably mine too), others the consequences of her choices. Those include being married to my father and giving birth to and raising six children while being a working mother. Did I say I was grateful to still have her in my life? I am. Continue reading

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Stories We Tell/Stories Untold

Ever since I was a child, films, like good books, served as windows to worlds sometimes unfamiliar or far away due to distance in time or space. Movies depicted characters both fictional and historic, unraveled mysteries or documented adventures; they always engaged my emotions and attention. Some films are more familiar and familial, memoirs or morality tales that act like mirrors to my lived experience, or road maps of my internal journey. I prefer non-fiction to fiction. Most fiction, in my view, is simply reality in disguise, employed to protect the innocent and the guilty. As a memoirist I am most interested in the stories we tell and the stories untold about our lives.

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