Author Archives: Linda Lenzke

Sexagenarian Dating in the Midwest

“It is utterly false and cruelly arbitrary to put all the play and learning into childhood, all the work into middle age, and all the regrets into old age.”  Margaret Mead

Today’s post begins with a quote from Margaret Mead, the cultural anthropologist, writer and feminist. I offer this quote for a couple of reasons; first, Mead is a widely quoted and respected student of civilization, she was posthumously awarded the Medal of Freedom by President Jimmy Carter in 1979. The citation read:

“Margaret Mead was both a student of civilization and an exemplar of it. To a public of millions, she brought the central insight of cultural anthropology: that varying cultural patterns express an underlying human unity. She mastered her discipline, but she also transcended it. Intrepid, independent, plain spoken, fearless, she remains a model for the young and a teacher from whom all may learn.”

The second reason I begin with Mead’s quote about aging is that I wanted this essay about dating in my sixties to have some academic weight. The idea that I was approaching this subject from the point of view of a cultural anthropologist made me smile as I write about my dating life, or current lack of one. Continue reading

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Motherless Daughters

“The death of a mother is the first sorrow wept without her.”  Author Unknown

First, I must state that my mother is alive and well (in a manner of speaking), 80 years old living with my father in the house I grew up in. I’m lucky. Today, I can go home again. I’m saddened and concerned however, that my mother struggles with health issues, some of which are her genetic legacy (and probably mine too), others the consequences of her choices. Those include being married to my father and giving birth to and raising six children while being a working mother. Did I say I was grateful to still have her in my life? I am. Continue reading

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Oops!

In my most recent post dated September 14th, The Changing Seasons, I correctly stated that the autumnal equinox occurs on Sunday, September 22nd. I incorrectly stated that we turn our clocks back one hour. Don’t do it, instead, wait until 2:00 a.m. on Sunday, November 3rd. I apologize for inadvertently misleading you.

Astronomical clock. www.kuriositas.com

Astronomical clock. www.kuriositas.com

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The Changing Seasons

Next Sunday is the autumnal equinox, the official beginning of fall, when day and night are nearly equal. One can already see the sun’s position in the sky changing and its effect on daylight. Soon too, the leaves will change from their verdant hues to vibrant shades of carmine, crimson, burnt orange, golden yellows and finally tawny browns before they fall to the ground.  Continue reading

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Stories We Tell/Stories Untold

Ever since I was a child, films, like good books, served as windows to worlds sometimes unfamiliar or far away due to distance in time or space. Movies depicted characters both fictional and historic, unraveled mysteries or documented adventures; they always engaged my emotions and attention. Some films are more familiar and familial, memoirs or morality tales that act like mirrors to my lived experience, or road maps of my internal journey. I prefer non-fiction to fiction. Most fiction, in my view, is simply reality in disguise, employed to protect the innocent and the guilty. As a memoirist I am most interested in the stories we tell and the stories untold about our lives.

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Labor Day: May Day in September

Today is Labor Day, the first Monday in September, the day President Grover Cleveland declared a national holiday in 1894. The Knights of Labor and the Central Labor Union organized the first labor parade in New York City in 1887 prior to the national holiday.  There had been efforts before to commemorate May 1st as a national holiday to celebrate American workers, but the tragic outcome of the Haymarket Massacre in 1886 made that date too volatile and controversial. On Tuesday, May 4, 1886 a peaceful rally by workers striking in support of an eight-hour workday was disrupted by a dynamite bomb thrown at police officers as they attempted to disperse the demonstrators.  Seven police officers, four civilians and dozens of protesters and bystanders were injured.  Again in 1894, following the Pullman Strike in Chicago with the death of workers by the U.S. Military and U.S. Marshals, Congress rushed legislation to make Labor Day in September a national holiday, a tribute to American workers.

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Conversations w/My Next Girlfriend: Episode 2

This is the second in a series of imaginary conversations with my next girlfriend.

Sweet woman,

I know you’re having a hard time understanding why I asked my ex-girlfriend to accompany me and be my support person the day of my carpal tunnel release surgery. As you remember, I originally asked my sister who said she’d be with me that day. When her family was trying to find a time to take their annual vacation before school started, it turned out that the week of my outpatient surgery worked best with everyone’s schedule. She talked to me about it and I told her to have a great time and that I’d find someone else. Continue reading

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Everything New Is Old Again

The following is the script from a stand-up comedy routine I wrote and performed at QueerSpeak open mic at Project Lodge on 8/24/11. The set is a look at aging and the increased interactions we have with healthcare providers and the surprising observations made by the young people in our lives. Today, in a couple of hours, I’m going to have carpal tunnel release surgery. When I am able to write again, I’m sure there will be more humorous stories to tell.   Continue reading

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Road Trip

A road trip is a must do activity every season of the year and it’s especially wonderful in Wisconsin in the summertime and fall. A road trip with a coterie of friends makes it even more of an adventure, there’s never a lack of stories, lively debates, or insightful observations about our lives as we travel. I’m fortunate to work for an auto dealership featuring luxury European brands, so I volunteered to drive my Mercedes-Benz C-300 on a perfect, blue sky, sunny, summer day. Continue reading

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Conversations with My Next Girlfriend

Preface

Since the breakup of my fifteen-year relationship, five-and-a-half years ago, I remain living in the past to some degree. I’m aware that as long as my past inhabits my present, I’m essentially still in a relationship, even if it’s predominately virtual and one-sided.  I have conversations in my head — the closure and amends we never had a chance to process together; I work out the “hers, mine and ours” unfinished business of the breakup in scenarios in my dreams, I continue to share stories with friends that begin, “When I was with my ex…” and I make promises to myself to never repeat the same mistakes, or expect people to be anything but who they are, not what I wished they’d be, and yes, I include myself in that awareness. This is the legacy of being the person who was left. It takes time. The good news is we are working on redefining our relationship as friends and chosen family. Continue reading

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