Full disclosure: My little black dress is actually pretty big.
It’s been years since I bought or wore a dress. In fact, I can’t even remember when I last did. I’ve worn skirts, mostly in professional settings, and I’ve managed over the years to dress appropriately for both professional and personal occasions in pants or suits. Continue reading
“I get by with a little help from my friends.” — Lyrics by John Lennon and Paul McCartney
Last weekend I attended a recovery enrichment workshop at Edgewood College presented by Fred Holmquist of Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation’s Dan Anderson Renewal Center. The experience was a powerful reminder of the role recovery circles have played in my life. Over the years I’ve sat in many circles in outpatient treatment, aftercare, 12-step meetings, and retreats. Yet this is simply one sphere of my life where circles of friends and peers have empowered me. Continue reading
“Marriage responds to the universal fear that a lonely person might call out only to find no one there. It offers the hope of companionship and understanding and assurance that while both still live there will be someone to care for the other.” — Justice Anthony M. Kennedy
Oh crap! I’m really in trouble now. Not only am I an older woman, I’m an older lesbian woman, and can now add to that list: older, lesbian, single, and now unmarried, woman. How did that happen? Yes, that’s a rhetorical question and I know the answer. Continue reading
“What goes around comes around.” — The basic definition of how karma, the law of cause and effect, works.
“And in the end, the love you make is equal to the love you take.” — Lyrics from the Beatles song, The End, composed by Paul McCartney and credited to Lennon-McCartney. It was the last song recorded collectively by all four Beatles from the album, Abbey Road.
This is a tale of two quilts, two long-term relationships, two sisters and two lessons about karma. Continue reading
Spring break is now behind us. I hope everyone is refreshed and ready to enjoy both work and play, and the season ahead. We’ve made it through another Wisconsin winter — though there was more light snow and cold temps this week (welcome to Wisconsin!). Students took a break from their day-to-day routines of books and laptops, lectures and classrooms while working folks and others have been to that sunny beach and returned home to see the trees bud and flowers bloom. Thousands of others, including me, have emerged from darkened movie theaters after eight days and more than 150 films during the 17th Annual Wisconsin Film Festival. Continue reading
“It is utterly false and cruelly arbitrary to put all the play and learning into childhood, all the work into middle age, and all the regrets into old age.” Margaret Mead
Today’s post begins with a quote from Margaret Mead, the cultural anthropologist, writer and feminist. I offer this quote for a couple of reasons; first, Mead is a widely quoted and respected student of civilization, she was posthumously awarded the Medal of Freedom by President Jimmy Carter in 1979. The citation read:
“Margaret Mead was both a student of civilization and an exemplar of it. To a public of millions, she brought the central insight of cultural anthropology: that varying cultural patterns express an underlying human unity. She mastered her discipline, but she also transcended it. Intrepid, independent, plain spoken, fearless, she remains a model for the young and a teacher from whom all may learn.”
The second reason I begin with Mead’s quote about aging is that I wanted this essay about dating in my sixties to have some academic weight. The idea that I was approaching this subject from the point of view of a cultural anthropologist made me smile as I write about my dating life, or current lack of one. Continue reading
“There’s a moment when people know — whatever their skills are at denial — that they have passed from what they can delude themselves into thinking is middle age to something that you could call the third act.” Nora Ephron
First, let me say denial is powerful. It can both serve us and hurt us, but in the end it must be faced and addressed. Though I am living the sixth decade of my life, a thirty-something still resides inside, a youthful, progressive-thinking woman trying to figure what she wants to be when she grows up. I am always surprised when I look in the mirror and see my sixty-something self. Continue reading