Tag Archives: Mother

Mouse Turd Cake & Other Birthday Memories

“Auntie Linda, it’s okay that you’re old. It means you’re not dead!” — Four-year-old niece, Gemma

The Backstory: When Gemma was four years old, I was bending over her car seat buckling her in, she saw my face up close, let’s be precise, the wrinkles of my face up close. In that observational, yet nonjudgmental matter-of-fact manner that children possess, she commented, “Auntie Linda, you’re old!!!” My old, wrinkled face couldn’t hide my hurt feelings. My niece Gemma loves me wholeheartedly and clearly didn’t want me to feel bad, so she replied in a cheery voice with a smile on her face, “Auntie Linda, it’s okay that you’re old, it means you’re not dead!”  And you know, she’s right, I’m not dead, and I’m grateful for that. Gemma is now 16-years-old and I remain older and above ground. Continue reading

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Thanksgiving: Things Change (Again!)

“The only constant is change.” — Heraclitus

“Things do not change; we change.” — Henry David Thoreau

As I write, it’s the Sunday before Thanksgiving. I’ve been rereading Thanksgiving Holiday journal entries from the past 12 years, plus my Thanksgiving blog reminiscences. A theme emerged which I’ve addressed before, yet continues to weave through my life — and the lives of loved ones — things change.

Thanksgiving is traditionally a family holiday, whether you celebrate it with your bio or chosen family. I’ve done both. Another theme became apparent as I reread what I’ve written in the past, grief and gratitude go hand-in-hand. Continue reading

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Dispatch from the Hideout: Home Alone Easter Holiday

Like most holidays I celebrated as a child, Easter was a hybrid of religious traditions, the social culture from the generation in which I grew up, and our own ethnic and family rituals, which we repeated in some fashion every year.  

Easter Holidays Past

Note: Includes excerpts from Poop Eggs & Lamb Cakes

Today is the Easter Holiday and Passover. Growing up in the 1950s and 1960s, my family had many traditions which we repeated every year, some with glee, and others with complaints. On Easter Saturday, we’d color eggs, which the Easter Bunny would hide that night. Mom boiled two or three dozen as our family grew. She’d cover the kitchen table with newspaper and the kids would crowd around it with our crayons, the white wax marker to write our names, a spoon in hand ready to dip the eggs in the assembly line of Easter egg dye in her Corelle coffee cups. Continue reading

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70 Is NOT the New 60, It’s 70!

(Or, the Third Act before the curtain closes)

 “There’s a moment when people know — whatever their skills are at denial — that they have passed from what they can delude themselves into thinking is middle age to something that you could call the third act.”Nora Ephron

“Aging is an extraordinary process where you become the person you always should have been.” David Bowie

First, let me say at the outset that I’m grateful that I’m above ground and not dust in the wind. When I was nearing my 65th birthday five years ago, I found this factoid reassuring. If one lives to the age of 65, they have an 80% chance to live twenty more years to 85 years old. Hallelujah! Continue reading

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Comfort Food: Winter Blues, Holidays, & Weight Gain

“Food is a lot of people’s therapy when we say comfort food, we really mean that. It’s releasing dopamine and serotonin in your brain that makes you feel good.” — Brett Hoebel

“Comfort food is the food that makes us feel good — satisfied, calm, cared for and carefree. It’s food that fills us up both mentally and physically. Finding comfort in food is a basic human experience.” — Ellie Krieger

Last night, I turned the clocks back an hour. This morning the sun rose earlier and tonight it will set sooner. Daylight Savings Time is over and regardless of your views on its merits — or not — for me it’s the onset of Living the Mole Life, a season characterized by comfort foods, winter blues, the holidays, and weight gain. I isolate, sleep, and eat more than I do the rest of the year. I basically hibernate and retreat to my hideout. Continue reading

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Memorial Day: Memories, Flowers, & Gratitude

“What matters in life is not what happens to you but what you remember and how you remember it.” ― Gabriel García Márquez

Flowers have long been used to memorialize loved ones and symbolize new beginnings, which makes them an ideal tribute to observe Memorial Day.

This Memorial Day Holiday weekend I find myself looking back, remembering loved ones now departed, friends and family traditions that have changed, and loved ones who’ve moved away from Wisconsin. Many new beginnings start with good-byes and letting go.  Memorial Day is a holiday to remember those who served and died for our country — and for my family — to remember our family members who are no longer with us in life yet remain in memory. Grateful. Continue reading

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Hibernation & the Holidays: Retreat to the Hideout

Hibernation definition an extended period of remaining inactive or indoors

Hideout synonyms hiding place, hideaway, retreat, refuge, shelter, safe house, sanctuary, sanctum

First, I’m a creature of habit. I find comfort in my routines. There’s a rhythm to my days and nights. I read somewhere recently that we all experience some degree of OCD behavior. It’s certainly true for me. The gears of my Circadian clock are still trying to mesh with some synchronicity since the ending of Daylight Savings Time (DST) and turning the clocks one hour behind. Who knew that would make such an impact? They’re grinding a little right now as I try to slip back into a sleep cycle.  Continue reading

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Holding On & Letting Go

“Life is a balance of holding on and letting go.” — Rumi

Holding on and letting go is one of the subjects I keep coming back to, a thread in many of my essays and remembrances. It’s an essential element in the cycle of life, a theme in many of my memories, a lesson to be learned and practiced as needed, and today again, present in my journey.

This is not unique to me. It’s a universal truth; it’s what makes us human, mortal, and sentient beings. Holding on and letting go is one of the first things we learn as an infant, one of the first things we teach as a parent, one of the most difficult emotions we experience at the beginning and at the end of our lives, and the lives of loved ones, as we examine who and what we need to let go of and who and what we need to hold onto. Continue reading

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You Can’t Go Home Again

Hat Tip to Thomas Wolfe 

“You can’t go back home to your family, back home to your childhood…back home to places in the country, back home to the old forms and systems of things which once seemed everlasting but which are changing all the time…”  — Thomas Wolfe

First, let me go on record that as a memoir writer and someone who writes about family, relationships, and the mundane moments of everyday life — you can return home by remembering. I’ve learned though as a reminiscence writer that memory is malleable and can play tricks on you, sometimes sanding off the rough edges of some memories, while sharpening others. The nation has witnessed this phenomenon the past couple of weeks during the Supreme Court Justice nomination hearings. Continue reading

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Tag Team Sisters

“When someone has cancer, the whole family and everyone who loves them does, too.” — Terri Clark

“The simple message of It Takes a Village is as relevant as ever: We are all in this together.”
― Hillary Rodham Clinton

When I walk into a room and friends who I love and trust ask me, “How are you?” or “What’s new?” I break down in tears. I’m a mess. I’m normally the in-charge eldest child, natural leader, the first one to raise my hand with questions, a confident, outspoken, and opinionated woman — the kind of person who seems like she has it all together, even when she doesn’t. I can’t pretend anymore. Continue reading

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