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Mar 21 2020

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Dispatch from the Hideout: Pandemic Edition

“If you lived here, you’d be home by now.” — Firesign Theater

Yes, I’m home, homebound, socially distancing, not quite in a lockdown, not totally self-quarantining. I’m staying in, doing my civic duty to protect our community and to keep myself healthy. Do I get a Girl Scout Badge for that?

I’ve been socially distancing to some degree since February 28^th when I was laid-off from my job which was eliminated due to a company reorganization. In the interim, I’ve conducted a job search, applied and received Unemployment Compensation, registered at the Department of Workforce Development (DWD) Job Center, and gratefully, interviewed for a couple of positions before the community spread of COVID-19 changed everything. I also had a few dates with friends for coffee and/or brunch. I delivered birthday cards to my niece Gemma and nephew Quinn. With their mother, my sister, Tami, we visited outside, 6-feet apart, and I elbow-bumped my brother-in-law, Ron. All that has now ended too. Continue reading →

Tagged 12-Step Recovery, AA, AA during an Outbreak, Ambivert, COVID-19, Dispatch from the Hideout, Films, Home, Lockdown, Pandemic, Quarantine, Social Distancing, Social Media, Staycation, Wisconsin Film Festival, Work, Zoom

Dec 06 2019

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Posts

70 Is NOT the New 60, It’s 70!

(Or, the Third Act before the curtain closes)

“There’s a moment when people know — whatever their skills are at denial — that they have passed from what they can delude themselves into thinking is middle age to something that you could call the third act.”— Nora Ephron

“Aging is an extraordinary process where you become the person you always should have been.” — David Bowie

First, let me say at the outset that I’m grateful that I’m above ground and not dust in the wind. When I was nearing my 65^th birthday five years ago, I found this factoid reassuring. If one lives to the age of 65, they have an 80% chance to live twenty more years to 85 years old. Hallelujah! Continue reading →

Tagged 70-Years-Old, Acceptance, Aging, Baby Boomers, Boomer, Death & Dying, Family, Fathers, Friends, Holidays, Home, Life & Living, Longevity, Mortality, Mother, OK

Nov 03 2019

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Posts

Comfort Food: Winter Blues, Holidays, & Weight Gain

“Food is a lot of people’s therapy — when we say comfort food, we really mean that. It’s releasing dopamine and serotonin in your brain that makes you feel good.” — Brett Hoebel

“Comfort food is the food that makes us feel good — satisfied, calm, cared for and carefree. It’s food that fills us up both mentally and physically. Finding comfort in food is a basic human experience.” — Ellie Krieger

Last night, I turned the clocks back an hour. This morning the sun rose earlier and tonight it will set sooner. Daylight Savings Time is over and regardless of your views on its merits — or not — for me it’s the onset of Living the Mole Life, a season characterized by comfort foods, winter blues, the holidays, and weight gain. I isolate, sleep, and eat more than I do the rest of the year. I basically hibernate and retreat to my hideout. Continue reading →

Tagged Autumn, Comfort Foods, Family, Friends, Hibernate, Holiday Parties, Holidays, Home, Mother, Potlucks, Seasonal Affective Disorder, Seasons, Weight Gain, Winter, Winter Blues

Sep 12 2019

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Posts

Dispatch from the Hideout: Premature Hibernation

“In order to understand the world, one has to turn away from it on occasion.” ― Albert Camus

“Your visions will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.” ― C.G. Jung

Though it’s not officially autumn yet, I feel the urge to go underground, to hibernate prematurely. Like caterpillars who cocoon in a chrysalis and emerge in a new form as a butterfly, it’s my desire to find a safe place to enable transformation.

The world seems like it’s becoming more threatening, whether it’s our natural world and the consequences of climate change, or our political environment and the actions and policies by those currently in power. On a personal level, things sometime happen to us — and for me — how I respond makes a difference in my emotional and spiritual health and serenity. While there are storms happening outside of me, there’s also turmoil and uncertainty stirring within. Continue reading →

Tagged AA, Ambivert, Autumn, Changing of the Seasons, Couples Therapy, Death, Dispatch from the Hideout, Family, Home, Isolate, Legacy, Mental Health, Premature Hibernation, Recovery, Relationships, Therapy, Underground, Winter

May 27 2019

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Memorial Day: Memories, Flowers, & Gratitude

“What matters in life is not what happens to you but what you remember and how you remember it.” ― Gabriel García Márquez

Flowers have long been used to memorialize loved ones and symbolize new beginnings, which makes them an ideal tribute to observe Memorial Day.

This Memorial Day Holiday weekend I find myself looking back, remembering loved ones now departed, friends and family traditions that have changed, and loved ones who’ve moved away from Wisconsin. Many new beginnings start with good-byes and letting go. Memorial Day is a holiday to remember those who served and died for our country — and for my family — to remember our family members who are no longer with us in life yet remain in memory. Grateful. Continue reading →

Tagged Chosen Family, Death, Family, Family Traditions, Flower-Planting, Friends, Holidays, Home, Memoir, Memorial Day, Mother, Racine, The Loud Family, The Orphan Holidays

Dec 09 2018

1 Comment

Posts

How I Became the Grinch This Christmas

Or Why I Refuse to Wear an Ugly Christmas Sweater

This year my bio family is deviating from our Christmas holiday tradition and venue. We’ve spent Christmas at Dad’s house, our childhood home, the past few years since our brother Rick ended his Saturday before Christmas Lenzke Family Open House, which was a marathon undertaking of beverage drinking, food grazing, and gift unwrapping by four generations. Some family members stayed overnight for the “afterparty.” Like most families, we have family scattered around Wisconsin and in other states — in our case — Nevada, Colorado, Kentucky, and most recently, Texas. It’s become more of a challenge to celebrate the holiday together. Continue reading →

Tagged Christmas, DIY, Family, Holidays, Home, Racine, The Grinch, Ugly Christmas Sweater

Nov 21 2018

Posts

Hibernation & the Holidays: Retreat to the Hideout

Hibernation definition — an extended period of remaining inactive or indoors

Hideout synonyms — hiding place, hideaway, retreat, refuge, shelter, safe house, sanctuary, sanctum

First, I’m a creature of habit. I find comfort in my routines. There’s a rhythm to my days and nights. I read somewhere recently that we all experience some degree of OCD behavior. It’s certainly true for me. The gears of my Circadian clock are still trying to mesh with some synchronicity since the ending of Daylight Savings Time (DST) and turning the clocks one hour behind. Who knew that would make such an impact? They’re grinding a little right now as I try to slip back into a sleep cycle. Continue reading →

Tagged Chosen Family, Death, Family, Father, Friends, Hideout, Holidays, Home, Loss, Memories, Mother, Racine, Recovery, Relationships, Retreat, Seasons, Sisters, Stories, Thanksgiving, The Changing Seasons, The Loud Family, Winter

Oct 21 2018

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Posts

Holding On & Letting Go

“Life is a balance of holding on and letting go.” — Rumi

Holding on and letting go is one of the subjects I keep coming back to, a thread in many of my essays and remembrances. It’s an essential element in the cycle of life, a theme in many of my memories, a lesson to be learned and practiced as needed, and today again, present in my journey.

This is not unique to me. It’s a universal truth; it’s what makes us human, mortal, and sentient beings. Holding on and letting go is one of the first things we learn as an infant, one of the first things we teach as a parent, one of the most difficult emotions we experience at the beginning and at the end of our lives, and the lives of loved ones, as we examine who and what we need to let go of and who and what we need to hold onto. Continue reading →

Tagged AA, Death, Family, Father, Friends, Future, Grief, Holding On, Home, Impermanence, Letting Go, Loss, Love, Memories, Mother, Past, Present, Sisters

Oct 05 2018

1 Comment

Posts

You Can’t Go Home Again

Hat Tip to Thomas Wolfe

“You can’t go back home to your family, back home to your childhood…back home to places in the country, back home to the old forms and systems of things which once seemed everlasting but which are changing all the time…” — Thomas Wolfe

First, let me go on record that as a memoir writer and someone who writes about family, relationships, and the mundane moments of everyday life — you can return home by remembering. I’ve learned though as a reminiscence writer that memory is malleable and can play tricks on you, sometimes sanding off the rough edges of some memories, while sharpening others. The nation has witnessed this phenomenon the past couple of weeks during the Supreme Court Justice nomination hearings. Continue reading →

Tagged 1968, Body, Brother, Death, Family, Father, Grief, High School Reunion, Home, Loss, Mind, Mother, Racine, Sisters, Spirit, Tag Team Sisters

Jul 28 2018

2 Comments

Posts

Tag Team Sisters

“When someone has cancer, the whole family and everyone who loves them does, too.” — Terri Clark

“The simple message of It Takes a Village is as relevant as ever: We are all in this together.”
― Hillary Rodham Clinton

When I walk into a room and friends who I love and trust ask me, “How are you?” or “What’s new?” I break down in tears. I’m a mess. I’m normally the in-charge eldest child, natural leader, the first one to raise my hand with questions, a confident, outspoken, and opinionated woman — the kind of person who seems like she has it all together, even when she doesn’t. I can’t pretend anymore. Continue reading →

Tagged Brother, Cancer, Chosen Family, Death, Family, Father, Friends, Grief, Home, It Takes a Village, Loss, Love, Mother, Racine, Sisters, Tag Team Sisters, The Loud Family

Mixed Metaphors

Mixed Metaphors, Oh My! – A place where words, this writer, and readers play together.

Tag Archives: Home

70 Is NOT the New 60, It’s 70!

Comfort Food: Winter Blues, Holidays, & Weight Gain

Dispatch from the Hideout: Premature Hibernation

Memorial Day: Memories, Flowers, & Gratitude

How I Became the Grinch This Christmas

Hibernation & the Holidays: Retreat to the Hideout

Holding On & Letting Go

You Can’t Go Home Again

Tag Team Sisters