Grief | Mixed Metaphors

Feb 08 2026

Old People Problems

Musings on aging, retirement, and a life well-lived.

“Somedays, I wonder if I need a new operating system, a brain reboot, and memory upgrade. A common sign of aging for me is the time that it takes to recall names, movie, and book titles, and the list goes on. My primary care doctor reassures me it’s not the first sign of dementia, simply aging.” — Excerpt from Things Change

“It is utterly false and cruelly arbitrary to put all the play and learning into childhood, all the work into middle age, and all the regrets into old age.” — Margaret Mead

The Road Never Traveled

There are branching points in life when a journey takes a different direction and where the destination is often unknown. I’m on that pathway this last chapter of my life. It began when I made the decision at the age of 75, on the eve of my 76^th birthday when I decided to retire after working 65 years beginning at the age of 11. Continue reading →

Tagged Activism, Aging, Family, Friends, Gratitude, Grief, Health, LGBTQ, Longevity, Madison, Procrastination, Recovery, Relationships, Retirement, To-Do Lists, Work, Writing

Jan 24 2026

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Retirement Journey: A Writer’s Life

Retirement Journey: Part III

The Backstory

As I begin this essay on retirement, it’s another frigid winter day in Madison, Wisconsin, my chosen home for over 50 years. Today is the kind of day to muse and reflect on life. It’s one of the best decisions I ever made, moving from my hometown of Racine to this progressive seat of state government and the University of Wisconsin.

There are some decisions we make that change the trajectory of our lives. For me, this was one of them. Others include storytelling and writing about my life, dropping out of college and gaining my education in the streets as a social activist, marrying my first love, coming out as a lesbian, recovering from alcohol, substances, and harming behaviors, my long-term lesbian partnership, the decision to live alone and thrive, and most recently, retire after working for 65 years beginning at 11-years-old.

One common theme in each of those decisions is that I crossed the threshold of an unknown journey —yet trusted in that knowing place in my gut — it was the right decision at the right time. Forever grateful. Continue reading →

Tagged A Writer's Life, Family, Friends, Gratitude, Grief, Human Becoming, Human Being, Human Doing, Madison, Recovery, Relationships, Retirement, Retirement Journey, Stories, What Have I've Been Doing?, What's Ahead?, Work

Nov 30 2025

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From Human Doing to Human Being

Retirement Journey: Part I

“It is utterly false and cruelly arbitrary to put all the play and learning into childhood, all the work into middle age, and all the regrets into old age.” — Margaret Mead

“The path ahead: Take it one day at a time, to live in the moment, to be a human being, not a human doing, and when I’m able, a human becoming.” — Retirement Aspiration

How I Got Here

Two weeks ago, I made the difficult and life-changing decision to retire at the end of the year. I had been thinking about it for the past year, as I watched the dust collect in my home, and my closets and kitchen cabinets overflow. Next, piles of books, old technology, last year’s holiday decorations, and the last box of photos and newspaper clippings from our childhood after our father died began to find homes under the bed and stacked along the walls. I need to purge and let go of material things to make room for living.

Continue reading →

Tagged Brother, Childhood, Childhood Trauma & Neglect, Chosen Family, Death, Family, Father, Friends, Gratitude, Grief, Home, Human Becoming, Human Being, Human Doing, Life, Mounjaro, Recovery, Relationships, Retirement, Sisters, Therapy, Things Change, Time, Work

Oct 26 2025

4 Comments

Posts

The Last Closet Door: Act III

Secret Life: Clean Out the Closet

“All human beings have three lives, a public life, a private life, and a secret life.” Hamill added, “A private life is by invitation only. A secret life is nobody’s business.” — Pete Hamill

“You can’t be what you can’t see.” — Martha Popp

Today, October 26, 2025 is Intersex Awareness Day.

Background on the Series

For readers who missed the first installment of this series — I opened the last closet door to the public on October 26, 2023, Intersex Awareness Day, when I revealed — I’m intersex. I was born with Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome (AIS). Today, again, I invite you to learn about my private and secret life.

A simple definition: Intersex is an umbrella term that describes bodies that fall outside the strict male/female binary. There are two types of Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome, complete and partial. My condition is the former (CAIS) and can be described as follows: Infants with complete androgen insensitivity syndrome appear to be female at birth, but do not have a uterus, fallopian tubes, or ovaries. Their testicles (gonads) are hidden inside the pelvis or abdomen. Breasts develop during puberty, but there is little or no pubic and armpit hair. Continue reading →

Tagged Alcoholism, Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome, Bodily Autonomy, Family, Friends, Gratitude, Grief, Intersex Awareness Day, Letting Go, LGBTQ, Private Life, Public Life, Recovery, Relationships, Secret Life, Shame, Stigma, Stories, The Last Closet Door, Trauma

Sep 28 2025

Posts

Holy Wisdom Writing Retreat: Meditations & Musings

On Saturday, August 9, I attended a day-long, silent writing retreat with 15 other writers. It was an extremely hot and humid summer day, spent indoors, except for breaks outdoors in the restored prairie, writing silently inside the meditative environs of the Holy Wisdom Monastery.

On Friday, the day before the retreat, it seemed that my registration from two weeks earlier may not have been confirmed. A work colleague, Becca, shared the writing retreat information with me. When I posted my weekly Facebook TGIF Update, I acknowledged that my original plan to attend the retreat wouldn’t happen. I let it go.

Instead, I decided to work at home in the writing alcove of my hideout, a 645 square foot apartment, where I live alone. Gratefully, later in the day, I learned that there were a couple of cancellations, and the retreat facilitator confirmed my attendance. Grateful. Things change! Continue reading →

Tagged COVID-19, Death, Dispatch from the Hideout, Family, Father, Gratitude, Grief, Holy Wisdom Monastery, Home, Hospice, Journals & Journaling, LGBTQ, Loss, Love, Meditation, Musings, Personal Narratives, Recovery, Retreat, Stand-Up Comedy, Stories, The Writing Process, Therapy, Writing

Dec 31 2024

Posts

Things Change: Look Back at 2024 & Look Ahead to 2025

“What matters in life is not what happens to you but what you remember and how you remember it.” ― Gabriel García Márquez

On the Sunday before New Year’s Day, I relaxed in my recliner, watched CBS Sunday Morning — my weekly ritual — with the fireplace glowing, cozy, under my holiday gift of a soft throw. Definitely, a hygge moment. Hygee is defined as follows, “…a quality of coziness and comfortable conviviality that engenders a feeling of contentment or well-being (regarded as a defining characteristic of Danish culture).”

Continue reading →

Tagged 2024, 2025, Brother, Childhood Home, Chosen Family, COVID-19, Death, Family, Father, Friends, Gratitude, Grief, Holidays, Home, Intentions, Look Ahead, Look Back, Mounjaro, New Year, Racine, Recovery, Relationships, Sisters, Things Change, Tiny Home

Nov 09 2024

2 Comments

Posts

On Writing & Storytelling

“Sometimes we become what we do. I became a writer by writing.”— From Celebrating a Decade of Mixed Metaphors, Oh My!

The past couple of weeks, I’ve been drafting content and designing a PowerPoint presentation, a Community of Practice Webinar for Wisconsin Certified Peer Specialists (WICPS). I’m a WICPS in the work I do as an LGBTQ+ AODA Advocate for the OutReach LGBTQ+ Community Center. The subject of my webinar, which I’ll present later this week is, Building Peer Trust by Sharing Lived Experience. Continue reading →

Tagged Blogging, Family, Father, Grief, Legacy, Madison, Memoir, Memories, Mother, Oral History, Personal Narratives, Racine, Recovery, Stories, Storytelling, Things Change, Writing

Jul 14 2024

Posts

Goodbye to Our Childhood Home

You Can’t Go Home Again — Title of the novel by Thomas Wolfe

“In life, a person will come and go from many homes. We may leave a house, a town, a room, but that does not mean those places leave us. Once entered, we never entirely depart the homes we make for ourselves in the world.” — Ari Berk

“The ache for home lives in all of us. The safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned.” — Maya Angelou

Grief and gratitude, letting go and holding on, and things change have been themes for me this past year (and longer).

Note: This reminiscence was written in response to the prompt, Home, for my Door County Write On LGBTQ+ Writers’ Group.

Continue reading →

Tagged Brother, Death, Family, Father, Gratitude, Grief, Holidays, Home, Loss, Love, Memoir, Memories, Mother, Racine, Sisters, Stories, Traditions

Mar 23 2024

Posts

The First Goodbye: Remembering Uncle Willy

“Carve your name on hearts, not tombstones. A legacy is etched into the minds of others and the stories they share about you.” ― Shannon Alder

“Some people, sweet and attractive, and strong and healthy, happen to die young. They are masters in disguise teaching us about impermanence. ― Dalai Lama

Today is St. Patrick’s Day as I begin drafting this reminiscence and tribute to my Uncle Willy. He was born William Roger Mason ― my mother’s favorite ―and beloved ― younger brother. Since I was child when I knew him, he will forever be remembered by his endearment, Uncle Willy. Continue reading →

Tagged Brother, Death, Family, Family Heritage, Family History, Family Stories, Father, Gratitude, Grief, Gun Violence, Home, Loss, Memoir, Mother, Oral History, Racine, Recovery, Relationships, Sisters, Suicide

Feb 05 2024

Posts

The Last Goodbye

We bid farewell to our father, grandfather, and great grandfather.

“Someday I’m going to write a book about our family!” — This writer as a defiant 16-year-old.

“I look forward to reading it!” — Our beloved mother

First, I haven’t drafted and posted new content for this blog since the end of October. The past three months have been a challenge and an unexpected journey. Though I’ve not written for my blog, I’ve done more writing during this period compared to what is typical. Most of it communication with bio and chosen family, journal entries, and social media posts. Continue reading →

Tagged Blatz Party, Brother, Chosen Family, COVID-19, Death, Elegy for my father, Family, Father, Friends, Funeral, Gratitude, Grief, Holidays, Internment, Loss, Love, Memorial, Memories, Mother, Obituary, Racine, Stories, Tag Team Sisters, Tribute to my father, Visitation

Mixed Metaphors

Mixed Metaphors, Oh My! – A place where words, this writer, and readers play together.

Tag Archives: Grief

Old People Problems

Retirement Journey: A Writer’s Life

From Human Doing to Human Being

The Last Closet Door: Act III

Holy Wisdom Writing Retreat: Meditations & Musings

Things Change: Look Back at 2024 & Look Ahead to 2025

On Writing & Storytelling

Goodbye to Our Childhood Home

The First Goodbye: Remembering Uncle Willy

The Last Goodbye