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Living the Mole Life

“…we can’t live in the light all of the time. You have to take whatever light you can hold into the dark with you.”  ― Libba Bray, A Great and Terrible Beauty

Last night was Halloween, also known as Hallow’s Eve or Samhain, the Celtic festival that bridges fall and winter, when people light bonfires and wear costumes to ward off roaming ghosts and the darkness. On State Street here in Madison, Wisconsin it was Freakfest. Before we went to bed, we turned our clocks back an hour; it was the last day of Daylight Saving Time (DST) and though we gained an extra hour of sleep, we begin living the mole life again.  Continue reading

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Comfort Food: Winter Blues, Holidays, & Weight Gain

“Food is a lot of people’s therapy when we say comfort food, we really mean that. It’s releasing dopamine and serotonin in your brain that makes you feel good.” — Brett Hoebel

“Comfort food is the food that makes us feel good — satisfied, calm, cared for and carefree. It’s food that fills us up both mentally and physically. Finding comfort in food is a basic human experience.” — Ellie Krieger

Last night, I turned the clocks back an hour. This morning the sun rose earlier and tonight it will set sooner. Daylight Savings Time is over and regardless of your views on its merits — or not — for me it’s the onset of Living the Mole Life, a season characterized by comfort foods, winter blues, the holidays, and weight gain. I isolate, sleep, and eat more than I do the rest of the year. I basically hibernate and retreat to my hideout. Continue reading

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Dispatch from the Hideout: Premature Hibernation

“In order to understand the world, one has to turn away from it on occasion.” ― Albert Camus

“Your visions will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.” ― C.G. Jung

Though it’s not officially autumn yet, I feel the urge to go underground, to hibernate prematurely. Like caterpillars who cocoon in a chrysalis and emerge in a new form as a butterfly, it’s my desire to find a safe place to enable transformation.

The world seems like it’s becoming more threatening, whether it’s our natural world and the consequences of climate change, or our political environment and the actions and policies by those currently in power. On a personal level, things sometime happen to us — and for me — how I respond makes a difference in my emotional and spiritual health and serenity. While there are storms happening outside of me, there’s also turmoil and uncertainty stirring within. Continue reading

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Creatures of Habit: Harbingers of Spring

“What I’ve learned, the lessons from keeping and rereading journals, is that I’m a creature of habit. Though I allow my imagination to wander and travel places like a free spirit, I’m pretty earthbound and sensitive to the changing of the seasons, the length of daylight in a day, the heat of the sun on skin, the relationship of the stars and moon to our planet, the color of grass and leaves, the smell of the breeze as it changes from the smoky potpourri of autumn to the chilled neutrality of winter, followed by the musky odor of newly-turned earth and fragrant scent of flowers blooming in spring. And, finally, the conscious and unconscious cycles of life.” An excerpt from the introduction of Seasons/Change, one of my poetry chapbooks. Continue reading

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Seasons/Change

“Memories recycle of seasons past
of people absent and places far away.
I soothe myself with the solace of ritual.
There is comfort in repetition
and wonder in change.” — From the poem, The Solace of Ritual, Linda Lenzke

It has been and continues to be a hellavu week, a reminder of the power of nature the relationship of the sun, moon, and earth and how it impacts the weather. Beginning this past Monday in North America, we witnessed the total or partial eclipse of the sun, depending on where we landed on, or near, the path of totality. Continue reading

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The Last Closet Door: Act I

Public Life: Open the Last Closet Door

“All human beings have three lives, a public life, a private life, and a secret life.”  Hamill added, “A private life is by invitation only. A secret life is nobody’s business.” Pete Hamill

“You can’t be what you can’t see.”Martha Popp

The two quotes above express opposing viewpoints and values. Hamill’s quote speaks to the importance of delineating and protecting our three lives: public, private, and secret. Popp’s quote affirms the importance of being visible and open in the world. Both have served me.   Continue reading

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Dispatch from the Hideout: Endemic Edition

“When the physical threat of coronavirus subsides, as it surely will, we must address the impact to our mental health” — Luciana Berger

Endemic Definition: “disease or a conditionregularly found and very common among a particular group or in a particular area— Cambridge Dictionary

Three years into the COVID-19 pandemic and we are the next stage of its evolution as the virus becomes endemic. It’s now living with us, and for some of you, living in you as Long COVID. To the best of my knowledge, I’m a Never COVID, COVID Virgin, or COVID Target. Yes, I’m still vulnerable, however, I’m grateful. It required three years of isolation including, social distancing, healthy practices, sacrificing time with friends and family, avoiding indoor restaurants, stores, and events, many of which gave my life meaning and pleasure. For some of the past three years, I worked remotely, and when in the office, masked. Continue reading

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Me Too — DAMMIT!

Trigger Warning: This essay contains firsthand memories of sexual molestation and harassment.

From my memoir, Perfectly Flawed:

“It was during one of those occasions I lay napping on the guest bed at my maternal grandmother’s house, on the chenille bedspread under the picture of the geese taking flight from the marsh, Charlie came into the bedroom to wake me.  As I struggled to gain consciousness and understand what was happening, I could feel Charlie’s beard stubble scrape my cheeks like sandpaper. His beer and cigar-soaked breath was at my ear, breathing heavily. Continue reading

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A Filmgoer’s Guide to the Best Films of 2015

First, as a filmgoer I want to begin by acknowledging that 2015 was an excellent year for movies.  Blockbusters like Mad Max: Fury Road and Star Wars: The Force Awakens both entertained the filmgoing audiences and made money for the studios. Dramas and biopics told stories about people and events that shaped politics and culture, including Brian Wilson of the Beach Boys in Love and Mercy, Steve Jobs in both documentary and narrative films about his life, the Cold War in Bridge of Spies, and the Blacklist of screenwriters accused of being Communists in 1950s Hollywood in Trumbo.  The mortgage banking and financial crisis of Wall Street was portrayed in The Big Short, and one of the best films of the year, Spotlight, revealed the pervasive abuse of vulnerable children by Catholic priests in Boston and beyond by the investigative reporters of the Boston Globe. Continue reading

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