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From Human Doing to Human Being

Retirement Journey: Part I

“It is utterly false and cruelly arbitrary to put all the play and learning into childhood, all the work into middle age, and all the regrets into old age.”  — Margaret Mead

“The path ahead: Take it one day at a time, to live in the moment, to be a human being, not a human doing, and when I’m able, a human becoming.” — Retirement Aspiration

How I Got Here

Two weeks ago, I made the difficult and life-changing decision to retire at the end of the year. I had been thinking about it for the past year, as I watched the dust collect in my home, and my closets and kitchen cabinets overflow. Next, piles of books, old technology, last year’s holiday decorations, and the last box of photos and newspaper clippings from our childhood after our father died began to find homes under the bed and stacked along the walls. I need to purge and let go of material things to make room for living.

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Holy Wisdom Writing Retreat: Meditations & Musings

On Saturday, August 9, I attended a day-long, silent writing retreat with 15 other writers. It was an extremely hot and humid summer day, spent indoors, except for breaks outdoors in the restored prairie, writing silently inside the meditative environs of the Holy Wisdom Monastery.

On Friday, the day before the retreat, it seemed that my registration from two weeks earlier may not have been confirmed. A work colleague, Becca, shared the writing retreat information with me. When I posted my weekly Facebook TGIF Update, I acknowledged that my original plan to attend the retreat wouldn’t happen. I let it go.

Instead, I decided to work at home in the writing alcove of my hideout, a 645 square foot apartment, where I live alone. Gratefully, later in the day, I learned that there were a couple of cancellations, and the retreat facilitator confirmed my attendance. Grateful. Things change! Continue reading

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Urge to Purge: Rightsizing

“I have a notion that if you are going to be spiritually curious, you better not get cluttered up with too many material things.” — Mary Oliver

“Having a simplified uncluttered, home is a form of self-care.” — Emma Scheib

First, I confess, as a 75-year-old person who lives alone, I’m a cliché. Like many others of my generation, I spent years accumulating material things along with lived experiences, yielding a collection of stuff and memories. Today, the latter has value, the former not so much. As I look ahead to my remaining years, I want to simplify, downsize, let go of things, and rightsize my life.

Current Status

For the past year I’ve been dreaming of the possibility of living in a tiny home or accessory dwelling unit (ADU) for the last chapter of my life. A year ago, our family childhood home was sold after the death of our father, our remaining parent, and the last keepsakes and ephemera I wanted to save made a home with me. Before I could begin to consider living in a tiny home, I had to address the elephant in the rooms, too much stuff! Continue reading

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Things Change: Look Back at 2024 & Look Ahead to 2025

“What matters in life is not what happens to you but what you remember and how you remember it.” ― Gabriel García Márquez

On the Sunday before New Year’s Day, I relaxed in my recliner, watched CBS Sunday Morning — my weekly ritual — with the fireplace glowing, cozy, under my holiday gift of a soft throw. Definitely, a hygge moment. Hygee is defined as follows, “…a quality of coziness and comfortable conviviality that engenders a feeling of contentment or well-being (regarded as a defining characteristic of Danish culture).”

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Things Change

“There is nothing permanent except change.” — Heraclitus

“The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.” —Alan Watts 

As a person of a certain age — my favorite euphemism for old —change is an undeniable truth of life. As I write, it’s the eve of autumn, the changing of the seasons, and the day before a memorial service for a coworker, confidant, and friend. Things Change has also been the theme of this year, and the title of my 17th annual journal, which begin in September. It’s also the final chapter of my life — no longer a dress rehearsal — yet an opportunity “To change the things I can” and leave a legacy behind, the measure of my life. Continue reading

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Goodbye to Our Childhood Home

You Can’t Go Home Again Title of the novel by Thomas Wolfe

“In life, a person will come and go from many homes. We may leave a house, a town, a room, but that does not mean those places leave us. Once entered, we never entirely depart the homes we make for ourselves in the world.” Ari Berk

“The ache for home lives in all of us. The safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned.” Maya Angelou

Grief and gratitude, letting go and holding on, and things change have been themes for me this past year (and longer).

Note: This reminiscence was written in response to the prompt, Home, for my Door County Write On LGBTQ+ Writers’ Group.

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The First Goodbye: Remembering Uncle Willy

“Carve your name on hearts, not tombstones. A legacy is etched into the minds of others and the stories they share about you.” ― Shannon Alder

Some people, sweet and attractive, and strong and healthy, happen to die young. They are masters in disguise teaching us about impermanence. ― Dalai Lama

Today is St. Patrick’s Day as I begin drafting this reminiscence and tribute to my Uncle Willy. He was born William Roger Mason ― my mother’s favorite ―and beloved ― younger brother. Since I was child when I knew him, he will forever be remembered by his endearment, Uncle Willy. Continue reading

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Celebrating a Decade of Mixed Metaphors, Oh My!

“Sometimes we become what we do. I became a writer by writing.— Linda Lenzke, Blogger & More

“I write to discover what I know.” — Flannery O’Connor

Ten years ago in January, I took a WordPress class at Madison College. I decided that I wanted to take the next step as a writer: design, create, and launch a blog. I had been taking a series of reminiscence writing classes from a mentor and writing coach who would later become a friend and writing partner, Sarah White of First Person Productions. Prior to the classes, I had been writing for decades, poetry, spoken word monologues, stand-up comedy, and journaling for over 30 years. The reminiscence classes were a launchpad for my memoir, Perfectly Flawed, which I’m still writing, editing, and adding content as I live and write. Continue reading

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Childhood Comfort Food: Served with Memories

“Food is a lot of people’s therapy — when we say comfort food, we really mean that. It’s releasing dopamine and serotonin in your brain that makes you feel good.” — Brett Hoebel

Definition: “Food that provides consolation or a feeling of well-being, typically any with a high sugar or other carbohydrate content and associated with childhood or home cooking.”

Note: This reminiscence was originally written as a response to the prompt, ‘childhood comfort food’ for my Door County Write On LGBTQ+ Writers Group.

September in the Midwest is my favorite time of year. It marks the changing of the seasons, the end of summer and the beginning of fall; warm days and cool nights when one grabs their favorite sweatshirt or sweater while still wearing shorts — comfort and comfort food season. Continue reading

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Dispatch from the Hideout: Omicron Edition

“The year 2021 has been like a roller coaster. It was supposed to be the year the pandemic fizzled out. Instead, it was a year of intense whiplash.” — Julie Ries

“It’s not over, till it’s over!” — Yogi Bera

This dispatch is part holiday season review, 2021 year-end wrap up, plus a look ahead, and once again, an acceptance of opposing conditions, that things both change and remain the same. It has been a year characterized by both hope and despair, gratitude and grief, and resistance and surrender.

The past year — or 22 months — depending on how you want to count — we’ve been riding the coronacoaster of the COVID pandemic. There have been highs and lows on this ride, whiplash, and screams. We want to get off this ride, yet we can’t until it’s over. Continue reading

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