Tag Archives: Relationships

New Habits Are Hard to Make

…and old habits hard to break!

“You can’t teach an old dog, new tricks is a common phrase that means it is challenging to teach a person something new, usually because that person has been doing things a certain way for so long that they’re too stubborn to learn how to do it differently.” 

Yes, full disclosure, I’m an old dog, living the first year of my seventh decade. In dog years, I’m 10 going on 11. I’m also at the threshold of changing habits, again. It’s challenging; I’ve been doing some of the same things for so long — the task of undoing them and replacing with new behaviors — seems impossible. Continue reading

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Dispatch from the Hideout: Exit Strategy

“In the rush to return to normal, use this time to consider which parts of normal are worth rushing back to.” Dave Hollis

As I write, it’s the day after May Day, this year the first Saturday in May, the traditional running of The Kentucky Derby. Attendance was, according to the Courier-Journal, 51,838 — a far cry from the usual 150,000-plus fans the race draws in a normal year, but one of the largest crowds at any event since the onset of the coronavirus pandemic.” Many people who attended did not wear their required face masks, except around their neck, though they dressed up for the occasion donning their derby hats and costumes while sipping mint juleps and placing their bets. Continue reading

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Life Is Good. I’m Grateful. Thanks, H.P.!

For my Door County LGBTQ+ writer’s group, Write On, the prompt this month was ‘Thank You.’ At first, it didn’t seem inspiring, until I realized that thank you and gratitude are cut from the same whole cloth. As a person in recovery from substances and behaviors that no longer serve me, gratitude is an acknowledgement of the commitment and work that was required of me, and a thank you for the support I received from others, including a belief in a power greater than myself. Continue reading

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Dispatch from the Hideout: Love In a Pandemic

“I am grateful to have been loved and to be loved now and to be able to love, because that liberates. Love liberates.” — Maya Angelou

“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line.”  — Lucille Ball.

Valentine’s Day is here. As it approached, I drafted this musing about the holiday and romantic love, a look at relationships, dating, and my single status while ‘Home Alone.’ Yes, love in a pandemic. As a single person, it’s a look back at the past, skin hunger in the present, and desire for companionship in the future.

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Dispatch from the Hideout: The End Is Here!

“There are certain life lessons that you can only learn in the struggle.” ― Idowu Koyenikan

“You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.” ― C.S. Lewis

It’s the eve of New Year’s Eve as I write and take a look back at 2020 and look ahead to 2021, wondering what the new year will bring.

There’s a blanket of fresh snow outside. Yesterday, I went grocery shopping to ensure I was prepared to be snowed in as I shelter-in-place between the holidays and before I return to work next week at my part-time-job. I only venture out for work and essential services, including a New Year’s Eve dentist appointment and a haircut next week. I have a mammogram scheduled the day before my January birthday. During 2020, we had to assess the risk vs. benefit in every venture outside our homes. Continue reading

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Shouting from the Soapbox: A New Series

“Pick a subject you care so deeply about that you’d speak on a soapbox about it.” — Kurt Vonnegut

“I’m furious about the Women’s Liberationists. They keep getting up on soap-boxes and proclaiming that women are brighter than men. That’s true, though it should be kept very quiet or it ruins the whole racket.” — Anita Loos

A blog is many things, a public journal, a conversation with oneself, a showcase for writing and ideas, an exercise in vanity and a soapbox.  Vonnegut’s quote speaks to me. I write about subjects I care deeply about, my relationship with myself, relationships with others, and my place in the larger community. I write from my lived experience, what I’ve learned from others, and what it means in the larger context of the world we live in.

During the past seven years since I’ve launched this blog, I’ve often stood up and shouted from my soapbox, sometimes simply to break the silence, to speak about the unspeakable, and acknowledge that we are only as sick as our secrets. I’ve often written that “The personal is political and the political is personal.” Continue reading

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Dispatch from the Hideout: Letter to Loved Ones

“Either write something worth reading, or do something worth writing.” Benjamin Franklin

“The goal isn’t to live forever, it’s to create something that will.”  —  Chuck Pahlaniuk

First some background. As my Mixed Metaphors, Oh My! readers know, I’m a writer and blogger. Friends and family, from firsthand experience, are also aware I’m a storyteller. I’m 70-years-old, yet consider myself young at heart and continue to be a student of life. I’m a work in progress, and perfectly flawed. I live alone and on the continuum of introvert/extrovert, I fall in between. I’m an ambivert.

I’ve been socially distancing and sheltering-in-place to some degree since my previous job ended at the end of February and has continued due to the coronavirus pandemic. Since May, I began working part-time at a job as an LGBTQ+ AODA Advocate that is more an avocation than vocation. I’m grateful. Continue reading

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A Solitary Life: Living Independently

“What matters in life is not what happens to you but what you remember and how you remember it.” ― Gabriel García Márquez

“Memory is the diary that we all carry about with us.” — Oscar Wilde

Today is the 4th of July, the Independence Day Holiday. Yesterday, I began reflecting on the meaning of the day, which celebrates the independence of a nation following a revolution and the freedom of its people from an oppressive government. Of dire concern — we are living through what may be judged as another oppressive government — our own — as our elected leaders dismantle democracy and favor the corporate aristocracy and dominant white culture. We are not truly free and independent until we are all free and equal under the law. Continue reading

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Dispatch from the Hideout: What Was, What Will Be

“You can’t go back home to your family, back home to your childhood…back home to places in the country, back home to the old forms and systems of things which once seemed everlasting but which are changing all the time…” — Thomas Wolfe

On the Friday before the Memorial Day Holiday weekend, I reminisced about holidays past. Years ago, a group of friends nicknamed, ‘The Orphans,’ would plan an annual camping trip to Peninsula State Park in Fish Creek in Door County, Wisconsin. We dubbed these one of the ‘The Orphan Holidays.’ From a vignette from my memoir in the works, Perfectly Flawed.  Continue reading

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Memories Are Made of This: Grief & Gratitude

“Memory is the diary that we all carry about with us.” — Oscar Wilde

“Sometimes it only takes one song to bring back a thousand memories.” — Unknown

It’s in fact a song that inspired the title of this essay and reminiscence. I don’t consider it a favorite in my playlist, however, the title captures the spirit of this blog post. It was a popular song about nostalgia. It’s been performed by country western singers like Jim Reeves, The Everly Brothers, and Johnny Cash, and covered by crooners like Dean Martin and Bing Crosby.  Full disclosure, for me, it’s the title that captures the essence of the song’s meaning. Our lived experiences create our memories.  Continue reading

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