Tag Archives: Relationships

Dispatch from the Hideout

“In order to understand the world, one has to turn away from it on occasion.”― Albert Camus

“Your visions will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.” ― C.G. Jung

For me, the past week has been one of introspection and retreat. It began with the 18-month anniversary of my mother’s death, counterbalanced by joyful anniversaries and celebrations of the living — birthdays, graduations, and more, of family members and loved ones — grief and gratitude. This unfolded during a critical period in the political landscape when our leaders were charged with designing and implementing a promised healthcare plan, first, repeal then replace, which when brought to a vote in a number of forms, failed again, and again, and yes, again.   Continue reading

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I Need to Pay Attention to What I Resist

“Where there is power, there is resistance.” ― Michel Foucault

There are many tools for living that I’ve acquired over the years from parents, mentors, school, books, films, spiritual practices, and recovery from substances and unhealthy behaviors. I’m most grateful for the latter, which saved my life. Today, we are faced with challenges in personal, social, and political spheres. Now, more than ever, I need to pay attention to what I resist.  Continue reading

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With a Little Help from My Friends

“Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends
with a little help from my friends”
— Songwriters: John Lennon/Paul McCartney

It’s the Memorial Day weekend. There are many traditions associated with this holiday. From Wikipedia, “Memorial Day is a federal holiday in the United States for remembering the people who died while serving in the country’s armed forces. The holiday is currently observed every year on the last Monday of May. It marks the unofficial start of the summer vacation season, while Labor Day marks its unofficial end.” Continue reading

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The Itchy Restlessness of Spring Fever

“It’s spring fever. That is what the name of it is. And when you’ve got it, you want—oh, you don’t quite know what it is you do want, but it just fairly makes your heart ache, you want it so!”  ― Mark Twain

It’s true, I came down with a case of spring fever again this year, beginning in February — the symptoms were clear: itchy restlessness, daydreaming, and questioning the choices in my life — wondering what the future holds for me. Desires and appetites grow stronger. I begin to wear clothes outdoors that are inappropriate for the weather, light jackets, short-sleeves, go sockless with canvas shoes or sandals with snow underfoot.   Continue reading

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One Is NOT the Loneliest Number

A Valentine’s Day Dispatch from a “Just One.”

First, I want to go on record that yes — I would L-O-V-E to be in a long-term, committed, romantic relationship with the right person — heck yes — perhaps I’d even consider getting married again, unlikely, but possible. Having said that, I must admit that being single, or “just one,” is not the loneliest number, despite the lyrics of the song One (click to hear Harry Nilsson perform the song) made famous by Three Dog Night, which was written by Harry Nilsson, who is one of my favorite songwriters, (I know I’m dating myself here). H-m-m-m — “dating myself” ­ — it’s kind of a metaphor for being single on Valentine’s Day. Continue reading

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Without Her: A Mother’s Day Lament

“The death of a mother is the first sorrow wept without her.” — Author unknown

On this Mother’s Day I want to express my gratitude. I’m lucky. My eyes first met my mother’s over 66 years ago on the day I was born. She was the first person I ever experienced in life, whose flesh touched mine, her smell familiar, whose breasts nourished me, and whose arms held me close to her heart. I’m sure I was comforted by the sound of her soft voice and steady heartbeat that I heard while still in her womb. Every year on my birthday I felt intimately close to her. We often shared tears, tears of gratitude and joy. This year was the last one we’ll ever share together. Mom died 10 days after my birthday. This is my first Mother’s Day without her. Continue reading

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Full Moon on Christmas Day: Part II

Christmas Present and Christmas Future

“Your life will be a great and continuous unfolding. You will come to know things that can only be known with the wisdom of age and the grace of years. Most of those things will have to do with forgiveness.” — Cheryl Strayed

This is Part II of a personal essay on the holidays. The subject of Part I was pre-holiday musings and reminiscing about childhood Christmas celebrations past. I’m grateful to my parents for their gifts to me, most importantly their love, nurturing, and support and for the delight I experienced on Christmas morning as a child when I saw the decorated tree and gift-wrapped presents.

Part II is also recognition that things change; we experience loss in our life as we age. Loved ones leave us, others die, and some traditions are more difficult to sustain.  People move across country, move on from childhood to adulthood, and sometimes family members and loved ones create chasms too difficult to bridge. Continue reading

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Conversations w/My Next Girlfriend: Episode 10

The Final Episode: This is the last in a series of imaginary conversations with my next girlfriend.

Dear Next Girlfriend,

It’s time. It was bound to happen sooner rather than later. I’ve been having lots of one-way conversations in my head with my ex-girlfriend and you — my next girlfriend. I’ve been living in the past, or imagining the future. As I said, it’s time. It’s time to be in the moment, in the here and now, and accept, yes, fully accept, that I’m single and I’m okay — all that TM (Transactional Analysis) self-help, self-talk from the bestselling self-help book I’m Okay, You’re Okay from 1969 that in 1972 made the New York Times Best Seller List. Next girlfriend, it’s not exactly like we’re breaking up — we never got together! Continue reading

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Pick a Metaphor: Life-Planning

  1. The Three Boxes of Life
  2. Whack-a-Mole
  3. Juggling: When All the Balls Are in the Air

As readers of my blog already know, I like to mix metaphors. Today I introduce the first installment of another Mixed Metaphors, Oh My! series entitled, Pick a Metaphor.  In this series I will choose a topic and look at it based on a number of metaphors. What I have found in my own life is that sometimes the metaphor I select to describe an issue I’m facing sets the tone of how I will think and feel about it.  Continue reading

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Conversations w/My Next Girlfriend: Episode 9

Note: This is the ninth episode in a series of imaginary conversations with my next girlfriend.

Saturday, June 20, 2015

Dear Next Girlfriend,

It’s a cloudy, grey, overcast day — the eve of the Summer Solstice. Showers moved through the area earlier as thunder rumbled and tumbled in the distance. The sun is trying to find its way through the clouds overhead, outside the window where I write. The weather matches my mood as I hope to find the partly sunny outlook or the glass half full way of thinking before the longest day of the year arrives. I’m reflective. I know I’m mixing metaphors — it’s what I do. Continue reading

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