Tag Archives: Family

Letter to Loved Ones (Just in Case)

“My life has not always been easy, but it’s always been worth the effort. I’ve not always possessed what I’ve wanted, but I always received what I needed, and most days it was simply the love of friends and family, and the ability to live comfortably in my own skin.” — from Dispatch from the Hideout: Letter to Loved Ones

For those who know me personally and/or read my blog or social media posts, I’m open and share freely about my personal life, some say I overshare. I write about my lived experience, often the mundane moments of everyday life, and sometimes I wax philosophically or poetically about our shared universal human experience. In essence, I’m an open book, and you choose whether to pick it up and read, or not! Continue reading

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Dispatch from the Hideout: Hip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah!

“Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay
My, oh, my, what a wonderful day
Plenty of sunshine headin’ my way
Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay!”

[Song composed by Allie Wrubel with lyrics by Ray Gilbert for the Disney 1946 live action and animated movie Song of the South, sung by James Baskett.]

First, I took some liberty with the happy song from my childhood for the title of this installment of the Dispatch from the Hideout series, to express optimism about the relief and restoration I hope to experience from my upcoming hip-replacement surgery.

A note about the movie that featured the song: It was considered by the NAACP as racist and released this statement, “…in an effort neither to offend audiences in the North or South, the production helps to perpetuate a dangerously glorified picture of slavery … [the film] unfortunately gives the impression of an idyllic master-slave relationship, which is a distortion of the facts.”  To read more about the film and the controversy it caused, Song of the South: 12 Things to Know About Disney’s Most Controversial Movie.

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Childhood Comfort Food: Served with Memories

“Food is a lot of people’s therapy — when we say comfort food, we really mean that. It’s releasing dopamine and serotonin in your brain that makes you feel good.” — Brett Hoebel

Definition: “Food that provides consolation or a feeling of well-being, typically any with a high sugar or other carbohydrate content and associated with childhood or home cooking.”

Note: This reminiscence was originally written as a response to the prompt, ‘childhood comfort food’ for my Door County Write On LGBTQ+ Writers Group.

September in the Midwest is my favorite time of year. It marks the changing of the seasons, the end of summer and the beginning of fall; warm days and cool nights when one grabs their favorite sweatshirt or sweater while still wearing shorts — comfort and comfort food season. Continue reading

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For the Love of Movies (& Memories of My Mother)

“Ever since I was a child, films, like good books, served as windows to worlds sometimes unfamiliar or far away due to distance in time or space. Movies depicted characters both fictional and historical, unraveled mysteries or documented adventures; they always engaged my emotions and attention. Some films are more familiar and familial, memoirs or morality tales that act like mirrors to my lived experience, or road maps of my internal journey. I prefer non-fiction to fiction. Most fiction, in my view, is simply reality in disguise, employed to protect the innocent and the guilty. As a memoirist I am most interested in the stories we tell and the stories untold about our lives.” – Excerpt from Stories We Tell/Stories Untold 

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Childhood Report Cards: Snapshots of the Future

“There is always one moment in childhood when the door opens and lets the future in.” — Graham Greene

On April 1st my sister Tami, niece Gemma and I traveled to Racine to visit our father and Gemma’s grandfather to celebrate his April Fool’s Birthday. We told stories, reminisced about our shared past — updated each other on our current lives — and our plans for the future.

We shared stories about all the pranks our family played on Dad for his April Fool’s Birthday over the years. We updated each other on what’s happened since we saw or talked to each other last. Gemma talked about graduating from high school and her plans to attend the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee in the fall.

Dad has been downsizing and purging items from our childhood home with the help of my siblings. He’s 92-years-old, uses a walker, and navigates the first floor of his home, and no longer uses the stairs to the basement and second story. Family members have been claiming items one last time from the basement and attic that we each want to keep, before the dumpster was scheduled to arrive later in April and our brother Rick and his crew of two helpers, would dispose of things that weren’t claimed or recycled. Continue reading

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A Filmgoer’s Guide to the Best Films of 2021

“The part about going to the movies that was so thrilling was not the film itself…but being around other humans, tearing up at the end and realizing that the people on either side of me were sniffling, too.” How Life Resumes, NTY, Melissa Kirsch, 2/19/22

Things change. As I write, the Academy Awards are a week away on Sunday, March 27. I usually post my annual, A Filmgoer’s Guide to the Best Films, well in advance of the Oscars. Since the event is approaching, the deadline for this review is here.

Award shows this year, those that didn’t cancel their in-person events, were delayed. The same was true of many of the films from 2021. Studios hoped people would feel safe enough to return to theaters in person so they postponed premieres. Most didn’t feel safe, including me. Continue reading

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Dispatch from the Hideout: Love in a Pandemic 2.0

Heard today: “I finally fell in love with my person.”

My realization: “My person, is me! 

Though the title of this Valentine’s Day holiday musing is Dispatch from the Hideout: Love in a Pandemic 2.0 it is actually the eve of the third year of the COVID-19 pandemic. Let that sink in for a moment.

Like most things in life, we can look at life from both sides now (cue the amazing Joni Mitchell). There’s pre-pandemic romantic love and our relationships with friends and family — compared to the past two years of love in a pandemic. It was a challenge and we each made an assessment — weighing the risks versus benefits — every time we made a decision of when, where, and how we’d get together in-person with friends, family, and loved ones with whom we didn’t live. When you live alone, the question became more powerful. How much isolation can my physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being tolerate?    Continue reading

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My Love/Hate Relationship with Technology

“Life was much easier when apple and blackberry were just fruits.” — Ray Bradbury

First, let me share some background. I’m a baby boomer, a couple of days shy of my 72nd birthday. Let me begin, “Aging isn’t for sissies,” yet I’m grateful to be above ground. Hopefully, this information should provide some perspective on why I’m a late adopter and my love/hate relationship with technology. Continue reading

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Dispatch from the Hideout: Omicron Edition

“The year 2021 has been like a roller coaster. It was supposed to be the year the pandemic fizzled out. Instead, it was a year of intense whiplash.” — Julie Ries

“It’s not over, till it’s over!” — Yogi Bera

This dispatch is part holiday season review, 2021 year-end wrap up, plus a look ahead, and once again, an acceptance of opposing conditions, that things both change and remain the same. It has been a year characterized by both hope and despair, gratitude and grief, and resistance and surrender.

The past year — or 22 months — depending on how you want to count — we’ve been riding the coronacoaster of the COVID pandemic. There have been highs and lows on this ride, whiplash, and screams. We want to get off this ride, yet we can’t until it’s over. Continue reading

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The Legacy of Material Things

“We didn’t have much, but we had love.” ― Tyler Perry 

 “I’ve not always possessed what I’ve wanted, but I always received what I needed, and most days it was simply the love of friends and family, and the ability to live comfortably in my own skin.”  ―  From Mixed Metaphors, Oh My! Dispatch from the Hideout: Letter to Loved Ones

It’s that time of year when we celebrate the holidays, often the traditions of the generations that preceded us, the food we eat, the rituals we recreate, the stories we tell, and the memories we share. This is our legacy. It’s also that time of year when many of us look back and reflect on the year behind us and grieve our loved ones no longer present in life.

We inherit many things from our family, from our DNA to our shared lived experiences, both nature and nurture. We also inherit material things, bequeaths, mementos, and gifts from family, friends, and loved ones. They also represent a legacy. What creates a person’s legacy? Continue reading

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