Matches for: “My Butch Girlfriends” …

My Butch Girlfriends

First, one of my ex-girlfriends is visiting Madison in a couple of weeks and we’re going to get together for dinner. We haven’t seen each other for probably over twenty years. I’m looking forward to her visit for a number of reasons, including seeing how time has changed us and how we might remain the same. My recent post, The Ties that Bind explored who in our lives help make up a family, and how friendships bind us together and to our personal history. Continue reading

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Scenes from a Marriage: Keys to My Life

“Do you think people who live together can ever be completely honest?” — from Ingmar Bergman’s Scenes from a Marriage

Sometimes a series of events coalesce randomly, serendipitously. Such is the case this past month when I began watching the HBO remake of the groundbreaking relationship drama, Ingmar Bergman’s 1973 Swedish TV mini-series, Scenes from a Marriage. When it was originally released in 1973, I had been married for a couple of years to my husband, Frank. We watched the theatrical version released in theaters in the U.S. We were foreign and avant-garde film buffs. Our friend Hal, a French professor at UW – Parkside, curated the campus film society. We attended lots of films together and I learned about the art of filmmaking from Hal and I quickly became a cinephile. Continue reading

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Music to My Ears (and Heart)

“Music can change the world because it can change people.” ― Bono

Today is the 100th day of the 45th President’s new administration. Many of us are weary of his Tweets, Executive Orders, his incompetence, narcissism and probable untreated mental illness, his misogyny and prejudice, and his lack of understanding how government works and who government represents. As I’ve written before, I probably spend too much time watching cable news and the parade of talking heads, the circus of Trump’s cabinet and Republican Congress, and reading fake news, social media posts, and online opinion pieces. Like many others, I periodically take a break on Facebook and look at videos of babies, jumping goats, mischievous cats and cucumbers, and dogs who talk or do other incredible feats. This week I also played a Facebook game by listing 10 concerts, nine of which I attended, one that was a lie. It helped me survive this week of political madness. Continue reading

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Conversations w/My Next Girlfriend: Episode 8

Note: This is eighth in a series of imaginary conversations with my next girlfriend.

Dear Next Girlfriend,

This past weekend I returned to my hometown of Racine, Wisconsin to celebrate the wedding of my niece Jennifer and her spouse Becky. They were married earlier this summer when same sex marriage was legalized in Wisconsin. They’ve been committed, loving partners for 12 years. I wish you could have joined me; it was a wonderful event and for me an affirmation that love is love, especially when families are able to accept, support and love their LGBTQ relatives and welcome their partners unconditionally. I am grateful to be a member of that kind of family. Continue reading

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Conversations w/My Next Girlfriend: Episode 5

Note: This is the fifth in a series of imaginary conversations with my next girlfriend.

Dear Next Girlfriend,

It’s been awhile since I’ve talked with you. There’s something about winter that makes some of us isolate and retreat to our homes. I count myself in that group this year. It has been a particularly challenging season and like so many others this winter I found comfort and solace in my home, snuggled up on the couch like an ole’ hibernating bear. Now that the first real hints of spring have arrived, I’m awakened again and so are many of my desires. For many creatures, including us, spring is mating season. Continue reading

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Rainbow Scare

“The truth is, no one of us can be free until everybody is free.” — Maya Angelou

“If the Supreme Court can reverse Roe, it can reverse anything” — Mary Ziegler

Earlier in June, I began to consider a topic for my next blog post. I often begin my writing process with research, reading online, frequently the subject is politics, culture wars, and/or the news of the day. I also reflect on my lived experience and things that pique my curiosity.

I decided on Rainbow Scare and soon after read an opinion piece by Allison Hope. I also became alarmed when the leak occurred earlier in May of the draft Supreme Court ruling on Roe v. Wade and its potential impact overturning settled law. It raised the possibility that the gains we made in the last decades could be undone. We’d essentially go back in time. We could lose reproductive rights, both access to abortions and contraceptives, and for women, the ability to make decisions about what happens to our bodies, plus our LGBTQ+ community may have our marriages nullified and our relationships criminalized. Oh, my! Continue reading

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Awakening Desire

“…pleasure is not a ‘nice to have.’ It’s a ‘need to have. — from the Netflix series, The Principles of Pleasure.

During spring, my desires awaken. Like the earth defrosting in the warm sun from the extended daylight, I too unthaw and heat up, begin to have cravings and appetites that slumbered during our Midwestern winters. My senses are enhanced. I observe more couples outdoors in the neighborhood, taking romantic walks, holding hands, some with dogs and children in tow. Following is a poem that captures the itchy restlessness of spring fever. Continue reading

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Battle of the Sexes Redux

It’s just really important that we start celebrating our differences. Let’s start tolerating first, but then we need to celebrate our differences. — Billie Jean King

“I wanted to use sports for social change.” — Billie Jean King

“You’ve Come a Long Way Baby.” — Virginia Slims cigarette slogan, first sponsor of the women’s tennis circuit which later became the WTA (Women’s Tennis Association).

Each generation experiences firsthand a series of events which become mile markers and touchstones for our lives. The past two weeks, I was reminded, while watching Ken Burns and Lynn Novick’s riveting PBS documentary series, The Vietnam War, of being a baby boomer who came of age from preteen to young adult during the Vietnam War. Beginning last year, and continuing this year, I watched documentaries and narrative films about the anniversaries of Civil Rights protest marches, riots, and tragedies, most recently the film Detroit. On Friday, the reminiscing continued when I saw the new film, Battle of the Sexes, chronicling the $100,000 tennis television spectacle between Billie Jean King and Bobby Riggs, billed as the “battle of the sexes,” women’s libber vs. chauvinist pig.  Continue reading

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One Is NOT the Loneliest Number

A Valentine’s Day Dispatch from a “Just One.”

First, I want to go on record that yes — I would L-O-V-E to be in a long-term, committed, romantic relationship with the right person — heck yes — perhaps I’d even consider getting married again, unlikely, but possible. Having said that, I must admit that being single, or “just one,” is not the loneliest number, despite the lyrics of the song One (click to hear Harry Nilsson perform the song) made famous by Three Dog Night, which was written by Harry Nilsson, who is one of my favorite songwriters, (I know I’m dating myself here). H-m-m-m — “dating myself” ­ — it’s kind of a metaphor for being single on Valentine’s Day. Continue reading

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On the Move Again!

“The first step in getting somewhere is to decide you’re not going to stay where you are.”  — Unknown

It’s that time of year in Madison, Wisconsin when U-Hauls and Two Men and a Truck will soon clog the streets. Popup curbside flea markets appear overnight as university students dump their second-hand furniture and poorly-assembled IKEA desks and bookcases rather than move them. It’s so commonplace that when student leases expire on August 15th, we’ve dubbed it “Hippie Christmas.” Continue reading

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